The Cooler Guy

[Verse]
I wanted the wee and the pee and the weed
And also the cover of uncool guys weekly
Oh well, guess beggars can be cool after all
Wanted to receive coolness for my excessive amounts of salsa on my tacos
Wanted to be left alone Inside the headquarters of Gary Records
Fuck off out of my way
I'm busy putting salsa on my tacos
For wantin' my cake, and chocolate digestive biscuits too
Yeah I remember the mailman
He is still out there to this day, he haunts me, I am completely terrified
Fame made me a lot bigger than last time
Now its a hot air balloon capable of flying over six million miles
‘Cause my head inflated like a bigger balloon
That is capable of flying over six million miles
When I blew, I fell straight through the floor and out of the map
But it was confusing. ‘Cause all I wanted to do
Is be the cooler Corey Talor of Slipknot
Abused as a child, used it as a tool when I blew up
From tsar bomba planted in my foreskin
Whoo! Hit the lottery, I won three pennies
But with what I gave up to get it was
Sweet and sour and cool epic turkey twizzler style
It was like winnin' a 2020 corona car from my diseased elders
Ironic ‘cause I think I'm gettin' so incredibly
Incomprehensibly cool I need a de-de-coolifier-ifier
I'm beginnin' to lose unepicness like you:
One wee, two wee, three wee, four wee, five wee
Goin' coo-coo and kooky as Bat, Prezlion, Pooface, Lil Cum Sock, and Paul Thomas
But I'm still cooler than you think, ‘cause I'm still Gary. Bitch

[Outro]
Yeah, I'm still Gary. It's been a long time, we've been through a lot
Through so much, But I'm still here, still killin' it, still lovin' it, still Gary, still Gary, still Gary