The Conducator

Silence suddenly is shattered by the blaring of trumpets and a booming voice as a herald proudly announces:

These are happy times and we should all rejoice
So make way for the king, the queen and the prince
The princess and nephews and nieces and others
So make way for the king, his uncle, his aunt
His cousins and sisters and brothers
Husbands and wives and their mothers

I'm the conducator, no-one's task is greater
Huge is my responsibility, I'm the guide, or rather
Like a loving father of a big and happy family
Never mind if there is no hot water for our showers
A new era rises in spirals of red flowers

What a great, heroic quest!
I think by now they know
I always know what's best
Lack of moderation
Over-consummation
Used to lead to gout and heart disease

Truly I was sad to but I really had to
Circumscribe their daily calories
Everywhere I go people show me their devotion
I confess I'm almost choking with emotion
When, in their spontaneous ways
They all bend over backwards just to sing my praise
He's a light, he's a beacon in a wild and treacherous ocean
And we're all proud to see him choking with emotion
When in our spontaneous ways
We all bend over backwards just to sing his praise
Customs are abolished, villages demolished
It's all part of my inspired plan
If some thick, old peasant
Doesn't find that pleasant
All I say is: That's too bad, old man!

We all know our conducator is a man of vision
In the course of progress what's a little demolition
That's the spirit I admire!
The sort of true enthusiasm I inspire
All our fields our rivers and mountains kneel before him
Children and blind widows even animals adore him
These are truly happy times
No unemployment
No inflation
And no crime
Happy times!