The Coffee Professor

I spend each day drinking third wave coffee
I'm probably drinking too much
Now I've got the jitters and my walk has got so wobbly
I have to use a medical crutch, you see
My hand shakes badly, I rabbit on madly
Saying things no one really wants to hear
Everyone who knows me starts to wish
I would stop drinking coffee and start drinking beer

For beer a man makes to shaddup

Und coffee's a commodity, coffee is a curse
Coffee follows monetary flows
You can learn so much about injustice
When you follow how a flat white grows
Capitalism was invented in a coffee house
It doesn't surprise me at all
The idiot excitement, the pointless intensity
But wait! Is coffee also how it falls?

So Joe bring me one cup of coffee
I must die until he does
Third wavе, any wave, who gives a monkeys?
I just need that buzz

I know all thе trials of torrefaction
The processes of processing the beans
Fair trade, provenance, equally crucial
Is the critical chemistry of milk steam
Also the importance of pouring very slowly
A barista with theatrical flair
Does it with a drama verging on cruelty
Tantalising every customer
Keeping all eyes pinned on him

Becoming attractive to women
And also men

Und coffee's a commodity, coffee is a curse
Coffee follows monetary flows
You can learn so much about injustice
When you follow how a flat white grows
Capitalism was invented in a coffee house
It doesn't surprise me at all
The idiot excitement, the pointless intensity
But wait! Might coffee also be how it falls?

So Joe bring me one cup of coffee
I must die until he does
Fair trade, any trade, who gives a monkeys?
I just need that buzz