The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati

Don't touch that dial!

I must offer to you a confession
I like movies that give me a fright
If the subject is horror, I've got to see more or
I won't be contented all night
You may call it my ghoulish obsession
It's a subject on which I get chatty
But the worst one it seems, haunting all of my dreams
Was the cockroach that ate Cincinnati!

I've seen ghouls and hobgoblins and witches
And some moth-eaten werewolves with fangs
There were creatures that chattered and others that clattered
And Japanese monstеrs with fangs (ah-so)
Frankenstein gives mе the shakes
And Dracula's driving me batty
But they're not on par with the worst one by far
The cockroach that ate Cincinnati (ha ha ha ha)!

Oh, he must have needed a seltzer
It's amazing how much he got down!
For lunch, he'd just chew up a suburb or two
And for dinner, he ate the whole town
"Willard" just sent me out laughing
I thought "Ben" looked a little bit ratty
But they're not half as bad as the worst scare I've had -
The cockroach that ate Cincinnati!

Oh, my heart nearly stopped; he would never be topped -
The cockroach that ate Cincinnati!
Ole!