The Cloud Of Unknowing

And then when then I die
I feel I shall say
I have not understood
I have not understood any of this
My eyes are still coal dark
I have not understood
Around and in my eyes the tiny flecks
Of swirling crippled confused lights
And to my heart I will whisper
Softly quietly
"There is no death there is no death"
(And goodbye to you all)

Under the gorgon grinned arches
Of London's great vaults
I have not understood
Under the sun-puckered roofs of Kathmandu
I have not understood
Along the soul-stoned streets
Of Lower
And of Higher Germanie
I have not understood
Leipzig: black-eyed pain and loss
She I have not understood
In Clare near I
The empty lakes are open in the distance
And too close is the famine retching road
All these are ghosts
There I have not understood
(In the Heart of the Wood
Oh there have I understood)
I rested at the temple of Great Black Time - Her
And did not understand
Though animal bled flesh marbled rivers ran in Her honour
His buckled body in blood
Returns to the pre-birth poise
Spreadeagled like starfish -
There in His eyes:
Incomprehension mute pain disbelief what
Blood there meant sorrow trickles there
This I could not understand
I bend the pages of yet another book
And in its lines Great Black Lines
I have not understood
Please gram mercy pray for me
And oh goodbye sweetest heart
The wind roars in the nearness
And there in my heart
And all the clouds are spiralling towards us
Descent indeed to the centre of it all
Skipping lightly and lying truly
This we shall understand
I hope...

Wet bent humped trees
The great ones - there
On the lapped shore
Dai Ichi
There also I do not know
This is all unknowable
And as the dust covers
My empty eyes
You shall read in these foolish gapes
Oh that I have not understood
(But if you look for the stag and the cross conjoined
There on my arm look there
There I have understood very well)

Now you are all fading
All fading
As my age creeps on
As This Age stumbles on
Fires in the earth
Fires in the sky
Fires in our hearts
Fires everywhere
The black eyes
Already blacken
And this I have not understood

Not peace
But a sword
This and He
Unfortunately
I have understood
Under the bowered greenwood tree
When first I lay
Bright starre with Thee
Under the velvet branches dear
When sun and moon both came so near
Under the starlit open dome
Under the star sharp pointed lights
Under the star loved greeny earth
When first I wanted to hold You
And all the world half dead and half alive
Spat into my mouth
Blue sea bitter water
And I am almost dead
And I have not understood

Under the rain and teeth of gods
Under the pain and sleeping liddy eyes
Under the brokkd wetful heaven
If you are there
If you are there
If you are there
Then I am singing with my eyes
If you are there