The Celebutard Chronicles

She's got the biggest tits, he's got the longest dick
And I get to read about it every week
You hear that sucking sound? It's culture going down
Seaward with the C-words, submerged in shit with dreams to drown

Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Just aim for the bowl and I'll hold back your gown

This is my favorite ad I got on pay-per-view
The vacant bitch in the convertible reminds me of you
Oh baby, oh baby
I'll watch my fuckin' mouth the day it gets a date
With Ashlee Simpson or stars in ads from Tresemme

Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Baby, don't you want to throw it up now?
Just aim for the bowl and I'll hold back your gown

Is it the taste of vomit or the cocaine?
All the flashing lights or trashy magazines?
One thousand sunken eyes, the way she shows her thighs?
The million fucking dollars, the jet-skis, or the guys?

How 'bout those fucking aspirations?
Aiming for the vacuous end
I wanna need that respiration
I wanna get some press for it

Press it on, press it down
It's already up in my face now
Press it on, press it down
It's already up in my face now

I wanna see my name in lights
I wanna see my name in lights
I wanna see my name in lights
And throw up in my purse and die