The Canadian Crisis Song

Often on the weekend I'll jump in my car
I won't fill up the tank although I'm going far
And if somebody asks me if I'm going to a bar
I'll say I'm shopping 'cross the border in the USA
I don't go down there to buy my groceries
I respect our farmers and our factories
I don't believe that "local" means it's poor in quality
It's just our goddamn prices are too high

(If he stays away for just two days)
I'll get one hundred dollars duty-free
If it adds to more I won't claim it for
(He won't declare the products if they're in his trunk)

Although it is Canada that I call home
I don't cheer for the Yankees when I'm in the Dome
I didn't swell with pride during the Desert Storm
It's just that I don't want to pay the tax
(It's just that he's too cheap to pay the tax)

(Yes, it's just like this, he's a loyalist)
I'll only shop at malls that fly our flag
(And he'll tell Bob Rae that he just won't pay)
Unless I need my unemployment benefits
(Get a job, get a job, get a job)

Now everyone is doing the same thing as me
They're doing what they can to beat the GST
They're lining up for miles at the Duty-Free
So I bought a JC Penny's store in Buffalo
(So everybody come on down to Buffalo)

(Cause if you stay away for just two days)
You'll get one hundred dollars duty-free
Though it's not at par it'll still go far
And it ends up in the pockets of a country man
(It ends up in the pockets of a country man)

Oh, Canada