The Builder

Verse
School holidays were draggin' on
He was gettin' really bored
And his Mum had started poppin' pills
She was climbin' up the walls
So when he asked her could he go across
The buildin' site and play
She just popped another pill 'n' just said
"Don't get in the way"
So he chucked his little toolbox
In his billycart 'n' left
While his Mum knocked up a cuppa
Laced with valium and Bex
She needed all the help she could
To cope with holidays
But the pills and powders weren't enough
When he got home from play ... 'n' said ...
Chorus
I wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up ... eh, Mum
And build f*ckin' houses everywhere, millions of the c*nts
A bricky or a chippy, eh Mum, I don't give a f*ck
I just wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
Verse
It seemed the sawn-off shit
Had listened to the builders while they worked
And he'd remembered everything --
Word for f*ckin' word!
And his shell-shocked Mum just sat there
As he went on to explain
How "some wanker lost the f*ckin' plans
Then found the c*nts again!"
And how "some dickhead missed the f*ckin' nail
And hit his f*ckin' thumb!"
And how "they shaved a mickey whisker
Off the door to close the c*nt!"
And his voice was so excited
Best fun he'd ever had!
"And can I go back tomorrow, Mum?
Can't wait till I tell Dad, how ...
Chorus
I wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
And build f*ckin' houses everywhere, millions of the c*nts
A bricky or a chippy, really, I don't give a f*ck
I just wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
Verse
His Mum was scoffin' scotch and serepax
And propped against the fridge
And when his Dad got home she dribbled
"Tell your father what you said"
So the young bloke give his Dad a serve
The air was turnin' blue
"F*ck the weather, f*ck the foreman
'N' f*ck the unions, too!"
His old man turned f*ckin' purple
'N' his whole body started to twitch
Until finally he exploded
"Go and get a switch!"
But the young bloke shook his head
'N' said, "No way, mate, I've knocked off
Anyway, you c'n go 'n' get rooted
Cause that's a f*ckin' electrician's job!"
Chorus
Cause I wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
And build f*ckin' houses everywhere, millions of the c*nts
A bricky or a chippy, not a sparky, go get f*cked
I just wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
Yeah, I wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
And build f*ckin' houses everywhere, millions of the c*nts
A bricky or a chippy, you cranky bastard, go get f*cked
I just wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
Yeah, I wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up
And build f*ckin' houses everywhere, millions of the c*nts
A bricky or a chippy, you're not me foreman, go get f*cked
I just wanna be a f*ckin' builder when I grow up