Okay, here's a song about an Irishman who had a little bad luck
And I've been told this is a true story
Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work today
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod
Now shifting all those bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me
And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket 'til to my dismay, I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down
Now the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground, it sped
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain
Halfway down, I met the bloody barrel once again
Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple contusions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell toward the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round
Well, I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope
For as I lay there bleeding, I let go the bloody rope
The barrel being unsecured, then started down once more
And it landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today