The Book of Noodle

Days after the attack on Plastic Beach, Noodle awoke in a strange Japanese village that smelled of fish. It was a fishing village. She'd been nursed back to health by an old pearl diver named Chiyoko, so to repay her kindness, Noodle took a job as her apprentice.

She was a natural (having shared a tour bus with Murdoc, she was really good at holding her breath). But one day, deep beneath the waves, Noodle prized open a pearl shell of unearthly size, accidentally releasing an ancient hell demon. It scarpered, ready to party like it's 1499.

Noodle learned that this was Maazu, a shapeshifting devil of unimaginable evil, that could take human form. It had to be destroyed. To do so, she must remove its head from its body. Or the other way around.

But finding a shapeshifter is like looking for a beard at an Arcade Fire concert. For years, Noodle pursued Maazu across Japan, from the heights of Mt Fuji to the deepest, darkest forests. Finally, she tracked Maazu to Tokyo, where it had risen to the top of the criminal underworld.

Disguising herself as a geisha, Noodle infiltrated its debauched headquarters, The Demon's Lodge. And there, while Maazu was distracted by a heated bout of 'Drink While You Think', she lopped off its head. His earthly existence was over. And the carpet was ruined.

Escaping Mazuu's Sumo bodyguards, Noodle packed herself into a FedEx crate with dried fish, bottled water and a copy of Moby Dick - if she was ever to finish Melville's onerous classic, it was now.

Her package was addressed: West London, England - c/o Murdoc Niccals.