The Big Ol’ Bug Is the New Baby Now

[Verse]
We have three dogs that love to chew stuff up, so we're always gettin' them some toys and stuffed animals and stuff so they can destroy them. And usually whatever we get is shredded to pieces within a couple of days

And one day I noticed that this stuffed animal that we had gotten (they had had it for about a week) had remained relatively unharmed, A little bit dirty, but it really didn't have any damage. So I was kind of watchin' them for the next couple of days, and I noticed that for some weird reason, this little stuffed animal seemed like they all liked it for some weird reason. It was special to them- not only did they not chew it up, they sort of made it seem like it was their baby. They treated as though it was their own baby, so I thought, "this is weird". How strange this is- Of all the toys and things that we get for them, for some weird reason, this one, that wasn't really any different from the rest, this one is picked to be special. So there you go

So some time passed and one day I noticed that this box of "big plastic insects," that I had been keeping on a shelf in the bathroom, had somehow fallen down, and unfortunately it looked as though the dogs had already chewed up most of the stuff in it, the big giant spiders, ants, and cockroaches and stuff that were in it. And as I walked around the house picking up the shredded pieces of these plastic insects I came across the Baby- you know, their stuffed animal baby! And there it was, just torn to shreds, like everything else - all the other stuff, finally this one was torn to shreds

So later on, I came across one of the giant grasshoppers that for some reason hadn't been chewed up at all, not even as much as a small tooth mark. So I watch, and it occurs to me that for some reason their affections have changed. And I can plainly see that, instead of the stuffed animal, the big ol' bug is the new baby now

[Chorus]
The big ol' bug is the new baby now
The big ol' bug is the new baby now