The Bed Song

Exhibit a
We are friends in a sleeping bag
Splitting the heat
We have one filthy pillow to share
And your lips are in my hair
Someone upstairs
Has a rat that we laughed at
And people are drinking
And singing Van Halen and Slayer
On a ukulele tear

Exhibit b
Well we found an apartment
It’s not much to look at a
Futon on a floor
Torn off desktop for a door
All the decor’s
Made of milk crates
And duct tape
And if we have sex
They can hear us
Through the floor
But we don’t do that anymore
And i lay there wondering
What is the matter
Is this a matter
Of worse or of better
You took the blanket
So i took the bed sheet
But i would have held you
If you’d only
Let me

Exhibit c
Look how quaint
And how quiet and private
Our paychecks have bought
Us a condo in town
It’s the nicest flat around
You picked a mattress
And had it delivered
And i walked upstairs
And the sight of it
Made my heart pound
And i wrapped my arms around me
And i stood there wondering
What is the matter
Is this a matter
Of worse or of better?
You walked right past me
And straightened the covers
But i would still love you
If you wanted a lover
And you said
All the money in the world
Won’t buy a bed
So big and wide
To guarantee that you won’t
Accidentally touch me
In the night

Exhibit d
Now we’re both
Mostly paralyzed
Don’t know how long
We’ve been lying here in fear
Too afraid to even feel
I find my glasses
And you turn the light out
Roll off on your side
Like you’ve rolled away for years
Holding back those
King-size tears
And i still don’t ask you
What is the matter
Is this a matter
Of worse or of better
You take the heart failure
I’ll take the cancer
I’ve long stopped wondering why
You don’t answer

Exhibit e
You can certainly see
How fulfilling a life
From the cost and size of stone
Of our final resting home
We got some nice ones right under
A cherry tree
You and me lying
The only way we know
Side by side and still and cold
And i finally ask you
What was the matter
Was it a matter
Of worse or of better
You stretch your arms out
And finally face me
You say
I would have told you
If you’d only asked me
If you’d only asked me
If you’d only asked me