The Beast of Pirate’s Bay

[Intro]
Gather weary travelers
I have a tale to tell
It might just save your lives, but only if you listen well
There before the breakers
And just along the way
There's a sign
That says "Beware
The beast of Pirate's Bay!"

[Verse 1]
Some say he's a guppy
A kid threw in the sea
He ate so many sailors now he's bigger than a tree
His teeth are sharp as scissors
His claws they are like knives
And if you think he's ugly, wait 'till you see his insides!

[Chorus]
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up and spit you out
You better stay away
Heed the sign that says "Beware
The beast of Pirate's Bay!"

[Verse 2]
Some say he's a serpent
That came straight from hell
To eat the souls of pirates and other ne'er-do-wells
Some they don't believe it
As for me? I've got a hunch
'Cause they used to have some pirates here
But he ate them all for lunch!

[Chorus]
Don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up and spit you out
You better stay away
Heed the sign that says "Beware
The beast of Pirate's Bay!"

[Verse 3]
Well, Captain Hook, you've heard of him
He came to Pirate's Bay
It seems his little nemesis had nearly got away
He reached into the water to grab at Peter Pan
There was a crunch, and a scream!
And now that scurvy captain's got hooks on both his hands!

[Chorus]
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up and spit you out
You better stay away
Heed the sign that says "Beware
The beast of Pirate's Bay!"

[Verse 4]
Well, Blackbeard the Pirate
You know for what he's feared?
It's mostly for that dark imposing color of his beard
He saw the beast and now nobody's scared of him because
His beard turned white and all agree: He looks like Santa Claus!

[Chorus]
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up and spit you out
You better stay away
Heed the sign that says "Beware
The beast of Pirate's Bay!"

[Bridge]
Well now the tavern's empty
And there's only you and me
And, if you care, I'd like to share how this song came to be
So come a little closer
If you really want to know
This very sad and woeful tale that happened so long ago
Well, I was just a little boy
When I went to Pirate's Bay
And there I saw a creature that was very much dismayed
With a harpoon in his dorsal fin
And a hook stuck in his side
This mighty whale was in such pain we both began to cry
I pushed and I shoved
But he would not give way
Into the deeper waters of our shallow Pirate's Bay
All I could do to help him
Was to keep people away
So I wrote a sign
That said "Beware
The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
What did it say?

[Chorus]
Don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim
'Cause if you aren't careful, you'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up and spit you out so you better stay away
Heed the sign that says "Beware"
Hell, I should know, I put it there!
Heed the sign that says "Beware
The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"