The Bang Bang Theory

I got a thing
Got a new thing
To make the closing bell ring
If you can find me a loophole

Now I’m just doing what needs to be done
To keep us in the big chair
So check out The Bang Bang Theory
The Bang Bang Theory

Which says: the more guns there are
The safer it is to walk the streets - The safer it is
And I don’t know no red-blooded white man
Who don’t wanna walk that walk - The safer it is

We don’t need no stetsons or boot-cut jeans
Cos we’ll be giving away handguns to all the tots and teens

That’s the bang bang theory - It’s good Mr. President…

In a nutshell - So good Mr. President…

The bang bang theory - Good Mr. President…

In a full metal jacket - So good

I been busy on the Bat-phone
Ordering a headstone
To bury America’s poor
And drag Robert E Lee
Into the 21st century because…
We’re gonna make it mandatory to own a shotgun
Or maybe four
Cos we’re about cutting through all the bullshit
That’s what bang bang bangs are for

Have we gone too far? - No, Mr. President
Or not far enough? - No, Mr. President
Have we gone too far? - No, Mr. President
Or not far enough? - I don’t know Mr. President
Have we gone too far? - No, Mr. President
Or not far enough? - No, Mr. President
Have we gone too far? - I don’t know

It’s people who kill people - People
It’s people who kill people - People

It’s people who kill people
Not guns!

How you gonna get the country
On your side?

Oh television

You need to get the country
On your side

I got a great new show

It’s kinda like the Apprentice
It offers folks the chance to plan a massacre
And pitch it to a panel of cops and spooks
And a rehabilitated terrorist group

And the winner gets a chance to shoot the show
Under controlled conditions - Bang bang
Using volunteer targets who were killing themselves anyway - Bang bang

Oh My God - Are you praying?
Oh My God - To me?

The cost of making this must be low
But the body count must be high - Agreed
And there has to be some kind of moral victory
And merchandise to buy - Agreed

It’s gotta make commercial sense
It’s gotta make commercial sense - Keep talkin’

But it’s got to have a heart too
And I’m damned if I can see the heart
Mr. President please
Listen to yourself

Oh I do
And you should too
And leave your bleeding hearts at home
'Cause if I can’t get a wall
I want a Mexican wave
Lined up in the Bang Bang zone
I want outrage - Outrage
And rampage - Rampage
And American hearts pumping like a twelve gauge
You better hold the front page

For the Bang Bang Theory - It’s good Mr. President
In a nutshell - So good Mr. President
It’s the Bang Bang Theory - It’s good Mr. President
In detail - So good Mr. President
The Bang Bang Theory - It’s good Mr. President
I want his head on a plate - Good Mr. President
The bang bang theory - Good Mr. President
And mine on Rushmore - Oh God