The Backson Song

Owl:
It's a giant creature with a tail
Here, I'll draw Piglet in for scale

Piglet:
Oh dear!

Owl:
Its hide is like a shaggy rug
Its face, a surly, ugly mug
With two sharp horns atop its head
Between - a mop of hair - that's red!

Everyone Else:
(Gasps)

Owl:
And in its nose, a ring of gold
It smells of monkeys' feet and mold!
Its toes are black! Its fur is blue!
I swear that all I tell you is not made up!
The Backson!

Everyone Else:
The Backson?

Owl:
The Backson!

Everyone Else:
The Backson!
Oh no!

Pooh:
But Owl, what does a Backson do?

Everyone Else:
Yes Owl, what does a Backson do?

Owl:
Hmmm...what does a backson do?
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking
And now I will tell you!
They sneak into your library
And scribble in all your books!

Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We don't like the Backson!

Owl:
When decorating your Christmas tree
They tangle up all the hooks!

Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We're afraid of the Backson!

Owl:
They spoil the milk!
They stop all the clocks!
They use their horns to put holes in your socks!

Everyone Else:
The Backson's the one who's been putting holes in our socks!

Roo:
Tell us more about what Backsons do!

Tigger:
Yes more about what Backsons do!

Owl:
More about what Backsons do?
Why don't we hear some thoughts from you?

Tigger:
Maybe they make you sleep too late?

Owl:
Yes. Yes! That's good. That's great!

Eeyore:
I bet they're the reason my tail is gone

Owl:
You're on a roll! Go on! Go on!

Rabbit:
They muddy up your tidy house!

Piglet:
They make you feel as small as a mouse!

Roo:
They break your crayons!

Rabbit:
They spill your tea!

Kanga:
They wake up babies at one and three!

Eeyore:
They made me catch the cold I caught

Pooh:
They made me lose my train of thought

Tigger:
They swipe your stripes!

Piglet:
They clog your pipes!

Rabbit:
They dig up your garden!

Eeyore:
They won't beg your pardon

Pooh:
They eat your snacks!

Piglet:
They won't relax!

Rabbit:
They chip your tooth!

Kanga:
They steal your youth!

Owl:
And now you know the horrible truth!

All:
The Backson! The Backson!
The Backson! The Backson!
Oh no!

Rabbit:
Oh yes!

Everybody Else:
Huh?

Rabbit:
I know exactly what to do
We'll find things Backson are partial to

Pooh:
Like books?

Kanga:
And dishes?

Piglet:
And socks?

Roo:
And toys!

Rabbit:
Yes! Everything that a Backson destroys
Then we'll dig an enormous pit
And he'll make the items lead to it
He'll fall in and we'll get our friend!

Owl:
And the horrible nightmare can come to an end!
The Backson!

All:
The Backson!

Owl:
The Backson!

All:
The Backson!

Owl:
Go home and search your closets!
Bring everything that you can!

Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We're gonna catch the Backson!

Owl:
We'll save Christopher Robin
By following Rabbit's plan!

Everyone Else:
The Backson! The Backson!
We'll save Christopher Robin!
We must be brave and have no fear!

Owl:
So to the death we'll persevere!!!

Everyone Else:
We'll search by the sun and the light of the moon
And if everything goes well
We'll be back soon!

Owl:
Back soon...

Everyone Else:
Back soon!

Owl:
Sounds like Backson

Everyone Else:
Back soon!

Owl:
Oh well. Good luck everyone!