The Auctioneer

[Intro]
Hey well all right sir, open the gate
And let 'em out and walk 'em boys
Here we come and let in number twenty-nine
What are you gonna give for the little fella?

[Chorus]
I wanna five dollar, wanna bid
Would ya bid it on a five on a five on a five
Would ya bid it on a twenty-five?
Got a twenty-five dollar, would ya bid it on the five on the five
Would ya bid it on a thirty dollar five on a five, would ya bid it on a five
Would ya bid it on a thirty-five?

[Verse 1]
Well, there was this boy from Arkansas
Who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
Well, he'd sneak away in the afternoon
Take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
Well, he'd stand and listen carefully
Until at last he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
Well, he said, "Oh my, it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer"

[Chorus]
Twenty-five dollar bid ya now thirty dollar thirty
Will ya make it thirty, bid it on a thirty dollar thirty dollar
Will ya give me thirty, will ya give me thirty dollar bill?
I got a thirty dollar bid ya now
Five will ya bid it on a thirty-five, bid it on a thirty-five, thirty-five
Who's gonna bid it on a thirty-five dollar bill?

[Verse 2]
Well, the time went by and he did his best
And all could see he did not jest
He practiced calling bids both night and day
Well, his pappy found him behind the barn
Just a-working up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Then his pop said, "Son, we just can't stand
To have a mediocre man
Selling things at auction using our good name
Well, I'm gonna send you off to auction school
And then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"

[Chorus]
Thirty-five dollar bid ya now forty dollar forty
Will ya make it forty, bid it on a forty dollar forty dollar
Will ya give me forty, will ya give me forty dollar bill?
I got a forty dollar bid ya now
Five will ya beat it on a forty-five, bid it on a forty-five, forty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a forty-five dollar bill?

[Verse 3]
Well, from that boy that went to school
There grew a man who played it cool
Well, he come back home a full-fledged auctioneer
And the people would come from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
Then his fame spread out from shore to shore
He'd all that he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Well now, he's the best in all the land
Let's pause and give that man a hand
'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers

[Chorus]
Forty-five dollar bid ya now fifty dollar fifty
Will ya make it fifty, bid it on a fifty dollar fifty dollar
Will ya give me fifty, will ya give me fifty dollar bill?
I got a fifty dollar bid ya now
Five will ya beat it on a fifty-five, bid it on a fifty-five, fifty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a fifty-five dollar bill?

[Outro]
Well, I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill