​the art of avoiding help

[Verse 1]
I got chains around my neck, promises stuck in my teeth
You can find me on my own, but you can't find me on my knees
And my life multidirectional so please don't intervene
When my emotions get too technical, I put myself to sleep
And I might have another episode, but not finish the season
I got lies in my peripheral, but I could never see them
It's so hard for me to let it go, I'm stuck inside a feeling
These narcotics, they my medical and I can't ever leave them

[Bridge]
(szama)
It gets evеn worse in the evеning
3PM, after school, fucking screaming
Stand up, stand up
You wouldn't wanna be me
Hands up, hands—
Paint my head all on the ceiling

[Chorus]
Man up, man up
Concentrate on breathing
Fan out, fan out
Searching for a meaning
Let down, let down
Confiscate my being
Help out, hellbound
Strip me of my feelings
Man up, man up
Concentrate on breathing
Fan out, fan out
Searching for a meaning
Let down, let down
Confiscate my being
Help out, hellbound
Strip me of my feelings

[Verse 2]
Way too good at cutting ties
I got a brand new look in my eye
I got a brand new cut on my thigh
Ask how I'm doing, I'll say that I'm fine
Ask how I'm moving, I'm staying inside
Ask how I do it, just put in the time
Ask why I do it, I'm stupid and high
This shit is congruent, I never switch sides (Huh)
I cannot put up a fight (Huh)
Thoughts in my head, I delete 'em (Huh)
I could never ask for help
Why the fuck do you think that I need it? (Huh)
I could never see the light
I take a moment and freeze it
I cannot comprehend life
Why the fuck would I ever perceive it? (Huh)
I can't even describe it
Complicated nomenclature
Lexapro, psilocybin
Fentanyl get my life in shape
Let's shake it up
Not much more time 'fore I'm waking up
Put on a smile, is it fake enough?
I'm opening up, is it safe enough?

[Bridge]
Thoughts and feelings not receding, never could release it
Feel like RPG, got low HP, I can't defeat it
Out of energy, hope THC give me a reason
Throw my life into the fire, jump in after, could not leave it

[Verse 3]
I cannot lie to myself but I wish I could (Huh)
I'm dodging the question, I'm ducking the next one, bury my face in my hood (Huh)
I got nails in my foot, I can't move, I can't breathe
I had screws in my eyes, but that's the old me, I can see now
I can see now, psychedelics make me senile
And if you got advice, I don't wanna hear it, you can shove it
They like, "Szama, how you live like this, the secret is I love it"
I can't run forever but I'll damn well try, I'll stay above it

[Chorus]
Man up, man up
Concentrate on breathing
Fan out, fan out
Searching for a meaning
Let down, let down
Confiscate my being
Help out, hellbound
Strip me of my feelings
Man up, man up
Concentrate on breathing
Fan out, fan out
Searching for a meaning
Let down, let down
Confiscate my being
Help out, hellbound
Strip me of my feelings