The Apology Song

[Verse 1]
I wanna stick a knife in my rib cage
Twist harder on the hilt 'til the bones break
'Cause I can't afford to wait for the old age
Let me be the one to call it off
I wanna feel the weight of my flesh drop
Rip slowly down the seams 'til it falls off
'Cause I wanna float away while the skin rots
Let me feel the wind inside of me

[Pre-Chorus]
And I'm saddled with a strength of conviction
That I'm still too much a mess for addictions
And I know that's not the best of depictions
So do you wanna settle down?

[Chorus]
Do you want a family?
'Cause baby if you get me with my back against a wall
I don't think I'd hate it much at all
If we're gonna share a life
I wanna be the first to die

[Verse 2]
I wanna feel my teeth on the blacktop
Bite harder 'til the roots meet the asphalt
And I'll spit and lick my lips 'til the blood stops
Let me end up cleaner than before
I wanna draw a line with my best knife
Trace up and down the length of my windpipe
Start filling it with stones 'til it's airtight
Let me make my breath more permanent

[Pre-Chorus]
And I've given you your fill of corrections
While hashing out our misplaced affections
But I'm misery in every direction
So do you wanna settle down?

[Chorus]
Do you want a family?
'Cause baby if you get me with my back against a wall
I don't think I'd hate it much at all
If we're gonna share a life
I wanna be the first to die

[Outro]
When I fall in love
If I ever do
I hope it lasts a while
I hope that it's with you
I'll always hold your hand
I'll always hold my tongue
And when we're with your friends
I'll swear that I had fun
I know your every move
Even in the dark
And if it isn't love
I think that it's a start