That Is Why You’re Overweight

[Verse 1]
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo... Lord, have mercy!
I had three doughnuts and two cups of coffee
But that didn't stop my appetite
I had only eaten a box of cookies very late last night
I had ten pancakes, plenty of syrup and butter, and two slices of ham
Three eggs, home fries, and four biscuits, all smothered in jam
Two glasses of milk, and a cheesecake
I thought I didn't want any more
I just had to buy twelve of those mints in that bowl by the door

[Chorus]
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
Heh... I wish I had some brains and grits!
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
Certainly would like a taste of some of that coffee cake over there! It do look good

[Verse 2]
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo... Lord, have mercy!
Now it's lunchtime, and I believe I'll eat again
I'm not gonna eat as much as I did for breakfast
Because I want to get thin
Let me have a bowl of chili con carne
And two corned beefs on rye;
A large order of french fries, a malt
And a slice of banana cream pie;
Two candy bars, one soda, for my late-afternoon snack
And, and uh, two bags of potato chips
So I won't have to come back

[Chorus]
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
I should have gotten two cheeseburgers with everything on 'em! Lord have mercy
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
I'm gonna go back to eating a bag of peanuts for my snacks

[Verse 3]
Ooh... Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord have mercy, mm-mm
While waiting for my dinner, I had four shots of alcohol
A chef's salad with lots of dressing and crackers, but not much meat at all
Had a steak, candied yams, rice, lemonade, macaroni and cheese
Corn bread, banana pudding, and a side order of black-eyed peas
I stopped at the grocery store, I'm gonna load up my refrigerator
I'm gonna sit down and watch television, and I'll have something to eat later

[Outro]
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
I'll sure be glad when that pizza is ready!
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
I can't seem to find nothing else in this refrigerator to suit me
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
Woo! Don't know what you're talking about; I'm going to the smorgasbord, tomorrow and the next day and the day after [?]
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
You better [?] signifying with me, talkin' 'bout I'm overweight, 'cause I eat what I want to eat! Tastes good to me
(That is why, that is why... that is why you're overweight)
Ooh, Lord have mercy... Lord have mercy it's good; all that food is good! I wish I had some more to eat. You're always talking about overweight, shoot, everybody talkin' bout it...
(That is why, that is why...)
Whoever said skinny people's healthy anyway...?
That's what I'm takin' about
(That is why you're overweight)
Gotta eat to live; anything you eat, you gonna get fat...
What's the matter with you, talkin' about here?
(That is why...)