Ten Toe Down

[Verse 1]
Growing up i never thought that it would bother me
That I, didn't have a father i figured he'd probably call
When he did he just offered an apology
Said he coming home you ain't have to lie to me
For seven years, i was just thinking hopefully
Seven years man you never even spoke to me
I was nine, what the fuck was i supposed to think?-
Thats prolly' why i don't let anyone get close to me
'Cause they can up and leave with no answers
So my heart is cold i ain't taking no chances
Fuck a slow dance
And fuck romances
This cold hard cash only thing i hold hands with
But, you are the reason i believe in my purpose
I had to make moves to prove to myself that i deserve this
Looking in the mirror like
Ain't nobody perfect
But when your own dad don't want you it's easy to feel worthless
All i gotta say is thank God for my Momma
If it wasn't for that woman i'd be caught up in the drama
With my step dad
Still wish i knocked his fucking head back
Man i swear this shit gets bad
I was 14 on my knees looking under the sink
Picked up a bottle of bleach and nearly took a drink
I ain't know what i was doing
I just knew that i was scared and i was calling out to God
But he ain't ever there
Ain't nobody care, fuck it why should i, i should die
Close my eyes and see my Momma cry (no)
I can't do this to her
Around the same time i started making music for her
So, please believe me when i say it gets better
I know you fed up
But you gotta keep your head up
They push you down, get up
Don't you ever settle
'Cause it ain't gon' be like this forever

[Verse 2]
And I don't know if i coulda took it much longer than that
But God only put me through that 'cause i was stronger than that
Yeah, i've always been a soldier
Thank my Momma for that
You gon' be alright too dawg i promise you that
But i ain't no reverent
And i ain't here to lecture
I just know what it's like to be living under pressure
Living with depression
Not knowing which direction to go
Man, you just gotta trust your soul
I know what it's like to be
Living in society when everything you tryna be
Gets blocked by anxiety
Everybody telling you this shit is
Illogical and improbable
Fuck 'em
Show 'em that it's possible
Like who the fuck you talking to?-
Broke through every obsticle
Had to do everything
That they told us not to do
Look, you in control of what happen next
You in control of your happiness, don't forget