Ten Job Commandments

Yeah, what’d ya know about those resumés?
Those, cleaned up social media profiles?
Check it out

I was unemployed for years, it was a painful waste of time
Could’ve avoided some tears if someone else had written this tasty rhyme
Here I am with this little guide book
I hope you take a lot less shit than I took a’ight look
Rule numero zero, cast the right hook
As opposite to a wide net
Don’t hide from your achievements in an attempt to go corporate
There’ll be people out there I promise who’ll appreciate you
Don’t force it
On the other hand, rule number one, should’ve been one to me
Don’t use your real name if you’re gonna be an MC
You’re better off being called MC Mister Poo-poo
Than being Googled by HR to find an aged star(?) looking coocoo
Number two’s invest in good shoes
It’s unbelievable how much people judge you by the ones you choose, it’s true but
Number two’s not really that, it’s getting real feedback
Praise finds ways to get under your skin so you need a light crack(?)
Bad review’s the same deal
You need constructive criticism or else you’ll be stuck in a game wheel, lame feel
And just you can program a hyperlink don’t think that your don’t diaper stink
Number three, have your value you inherit
You think success, from the past means that the world works on merit now?, spare it
If you have a net worth network, share it
Always find time to chit chat
And hook up who you can without keeping track of tic for tat
Number four, I know you’ve heard this before
Underpromise, and overdeliv-or

Number five is so underrated
Keep your work and your job completely separated
I’ll drop a bomb (???) deliver a hit
Between our intolerance lies a river of—
Number six don’t have kids
Number seven don’t negotiate a (???)
With overtime I go from mine to the next pay grade
You should be compensated when you stay late
Time and a half, (???...)
Write as many listicles as possible
Offices full of people view their next 5 minutes as a big obstacle
Rule nine, be fake
You can be real to the mirror during your pee break
Rule ten, write back to people again and again and again and again
You might have got caught in their spam filter, or
Reached out on a day (?) fell ill, or
Trying to (?) you into the tenancy to go the distance
Or else they just forgot about you!
Persistence overcomes resistance with a lot of clout it’s true
And that’s one to grow on, keep fighting ‘til the undertow’s gone
Swim parallels to barrel swells or else so long
Thank god each time you feel the pull it’ll help you grow strong
Or maybe everything I know’s wrong
Maybe I should reject old songs and prefer a mowed lawn
I’ll be back soon with a new group of random rules hold on