Tell the Captain

[Verse 1]
We beamed down to the planet
With the captain and the doc
It must have been a dozen strong we were
But the captain saw those women
And it must have been a shock
He turned as green as his first officer

[Verse 2]
It was Plan A of protection
We had phasers every one
And Security was armed from head to toe
But the captain just suggested
We should beam back to the ship
And he told Security that they could go

[Chorus]
Someone tell the captain hе's wanted on the bridge
Wе got another message from a planet out in space
There's some poor group of women left abandoned to their fate
And you know that to their rescue we must breeze

[Verse 3]
"Now wait right there," the doctor said
"I really do believe this is the day that I've been waiting for
"So I think I'll hang around for a just a little while and see
"What these charming little ladies have in store"

[Verse 4]
I didn't understand until I turned to look around
At the children who were running through the place
Tall and short and fat and thin but I noticed every one
For the spitting image of our captain's face

[Chorus]
Someone tell the captain he's wanted on the bridge
We got another message from a planet out in space
There's some poor group of women left abandoned to their fate
And you know that to their rescue we must breeze

[Verse 5]
The doctor only smiled as all the ladies made their claims
Paternity suits rained from every hand
And he said, "I'm a country doctor, not a magistrate
"But I'll tell you just exactly what I can"

[Verse 6]
So the captain stood there nervously
And looked from face to face
With every shred of dignity he had
And the doctor choked his laughter
As he checked them one by one
And solemnly pronounced, "Jim, you're dad"

[Chorus]
Someone tell the captain he's wanted on the bridge
We got another message from a planet out in space
There's some poor group of women left abandoned to their fate
And you know that to their rescue we must breeze

[Verse 7]
By the time we got back to the ship
The crew had heard the news
And we tried our best to cover every smirk
But the captain sat there fuming
With those papers in his hand
And shouted, "Everybody, back to work"

[Verse 8]
Well, the captain eats on board now
Whenever we're on leave
And you never see him going into town
Child support has left him broke
Can't risk another kid
And his yeoman will not let him live it down

[Chorus]
Someone tell the captain he's wanted on the bridge
We got another message from some planet out in space
There's some poor group of women left abandoned to their fate
And you know that to their rescue we must breeze
And you know that to their rescue we must breeze