Tattooed Lady

Now listen to my story boys, I need your sympathy
That big fat tattooed gal in the circus fell in love with me
And to prove her love was sweet as sugarcane, tah-dee
She had my picture tattooed on her body...

She had the Landing of the Pilgrims on her shoulder
And on her back she had the Sunset of the West
And right beside her dimpled knees
Is the great big apple trees
And the pyramids look lovely on her chest

When she decided that she'd like to add my picturе
She simply couldn't find a vacant spot, you see
So she tattooed my poor facе
In the most peculiar place
Now whenever that gal sit down, she sit down on me, oh Lord!
Whenever that gal sit down, she sit down on me

She has a lovely blue gardenia by her elbow
And on her hips she has the lovely Queen of May
And right beside her shapely spine
If you see that gal of mine
You will see the famous road to Mandalay

She has a rusty hinge that's tattooed on her kneecap
It looks so real, it squeaks each time she bends her knee
But, she filled me with disgrace
Where she tattooed my poor face
Now whenever that gal sit down, she sits on me, oh me!
Whenever that gal sit down, she sit down on me

Now do you wonder why I look so sad and worried?
Do you wonder why I'm feeling mighty low?
I would like to take a chance
And give her one kick in the pants
But if I do I'll only kick myself I know...

The only time that anyone can see my picture
Is when that big fat tattooed gal takes a bath, oh gee!
I get black and blue of course
Any time she rides a horse
For whenever that gal sit down, she sits on me
Oh, whenever that gal sit down, she sit down on me

Oy oy oy, meh head!
Oy oy oy... I was dead!
Aye aye aye, she heavy like lead!

Oh, whenever that gal sit down, she sit down on me
Whenever that big fat gal sit down, is on me
Every minute of the day, she only sitting on me
Oh, whenever that gal sit down, she sits on me