Tartuffe; Or, the Hypocrite (Act 1 Scene 5)

SCENE V

ORGON, CLEANTE, DORINE

ORGON
Ah! Good morning, brother.

CLEANTE
I was just going, but am glad to greet you.
Things are not far advanced yet, in the country?

ORGON
Dorine …

(To Cleante)

Just wait a bit, please, brother-in-law.
Let me allay my first anxiety
By asking news about the family.

(To Dorine)

Has everything gone well these last two days?
What's happening? And how is everybody?

DORINE
Madam had fever, and a splitting headache
Day before yesterday, all day and evening.

ORGON
And how about Tartuffe?

DORINE
Tartuffe? He's well;
He's mighty well; stout, fat, fair, rosy-lipped.

ORGON
Poor man!

DORINE
At evening she had nausea
And couldn't touch a single thing for supper,
Her headache still was so severe.

ORGON
And how
About Tartuffe?

DORINE
He supped alone, before her,
And unctuously ate up two partridges,
As well as half a leg o' mutton, deviled.

ORGON
Poor man!

DORINE
All night she couldn't get a wink
Of sleep, the fever racked her so; and we
Had to sit up with her till daylight.

ORGON
How
About Tartuffe?

DORINE
Gently inclined to slumber,
He left the table, went into his room,
Got himself straight into a good warm bed,
And slept quite undisturbed until next morning.

ORGON
Poor man!

DORINE
At last she let us all persuade her,
And got up courage to be bled; and then
She was relieved at once.

ORGON
And how about
Tartuffe?

DORINE
He plucked up courage properly,
Bravely entrenched his soul against all evils,
And to replace the blood that she had lost,
He drank at breakfast four huge draughts of wine.

ORGON
Poor man!

DORINE
So now they both are doing well;
And I'll go straightway and inform my mistress
How pleased you are at her recovery.