Talking Return Of The Great Folk Scare Blues

[Intro]
I'm going to do something, uh, quick and peppy and snappy (Okay). all the things for which I'm so popular. And this, this is called, this is going to be a talking blues song, and it's going to be called "Talking Return of the Great Folk Scare Blues." Here we go. All right.

[Verse 1]
Well I was born in 1965
That was a hell of a good time to be alive
Except that by the age of ten
The music had turned crap again
Now people say they wanna bring back the 70's
I say, "Hey, give the bad music of today a chance"
Yes, just what a singer-songwriter show needs

[Verse 2]
Punk came round, that was pretty scary
It was like a contemporary Peter, Paul and Mary
Shocking!
And before the 80's got too far
It was time for me to pick up my guitar
Picked it up
Looked good!
Here's how it looked—yeah!

[Verse 3]
And all my friends turned up their noses
At Freewheelin' and For The Roses
Preferring image over substance
A hairstyle for a musical influence
Yeah, all my friends, all them Ultravox records
They're gathering dust
But me, I'm still listening to Live Rust
And if the 90's are the 60's turned upside down
Then the 80's were the 60's the right way up
Only with half the top cut off—
If you think about it!

[Verse 4]
And in the town where I did live
There was no one I could do hoot night with
So I sat alone with my six strings
And I learned how to play and sing
Woody Guthrie's guitar killed fascists and crime
But in Hastings, West Sussex, South of England
My guitar killed time
And here's how it killed it

[Verse 5]
And I got gigs opening for bands
And things would get outta hand
'Cause big men would yell out their derision
So I developed humor as a defense mechanism
And the band, uh, the bill of the bands would be
The main band of the the night would be Outhouse
Except it would be spelled
O-U-umlaut -T-H-A-U-umlaut-Nazi S
So it would be like Oüthaüs
And Oüthaüs, and Catholic Abortion, who were a big band
And a band called The Deathmongers, and me
And I'd go on first
And I'd get carried away
Literally

[Verse 6]
And I moved to the big old smoky city
Just after University
And I got a gig opening for a friend of mine
Where I happened to be playing my ace
In the right place at the right time
So I gave up my PhD
To become a dustbowl folkie
That's Phil Ochs not Phil Oakey
He was the guy from the Human League with the bad haircut
But nobody, nobody here knows that
Wrong audience, wrong audience, works other places
It's a good line, I swear it

[Verse 7]
And then I learned the Folksinger's Prayer and it goes like this
It goes:
Our Father
Who art on Folkways
Ramblin' Jack be thy name
Thy, thy, thy Folk City come
Thy will be done
On CD as it was on vinyl
Give us this day our daily gig
And forgive us our protest
As we forgive those who protest against us
And lead us not into electricity
But deliver us from commercialism
For Prine is the kingdom
The power of the story
Forever be clever
A minor
Thank you

[Verse 8]
So hey everybody the time is near
The folk revival's coming here
But it's a tough thing to revive today, oh yeah
'Cause it never really goes away
That's 'cause it's a good thing
So hey everyone it's time to, uh, come and claim your share
It's time to re-iron your hair
And in five years time you're gonna look back
You're gonna say "I was there"
At the return
The return of
The return of the great folk scare
All right, that's the end, yes
(That was wonderful)