Table for One

I'm walking down in the basement
I'm leaning on the washing machine
I'm reaching back through a hole
In the wall's insulation
I'm pulling out a bottle of vodka
Replacing that with a pint of Jim Beam
I'm lying down on the floor
Until I feel better

It's morning and I pour myself coffee
I drink it til the kitchen stops shaking
I'm backing out of the driveway
And into creation

And the loving spirit that follows me
Watching helplessly
Will always forgive me

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down
All those demons who drank with me
Feasting gleefully
On my desperation

I hide all the bottles in places
They find and confront me
With pain in their eyes
And I promise that I'll make some changes

But reaching back it occurs to me
There will always be
Some kind of crisis for me

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring back
All those moments they stole from me
In my reverie
Darkening days end

Oh, I want to die alone
With my memories inside me
I want to live that life
When I could say people had faith in me
I still see that guy in my memory

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down
All those people who drank with me
Watching happily
My humiliation