Survivor’s Guilt

I tend to people watch a lot
Most of them all wear the same frowns
Most of them walk with their head down
But I don't
Cause for the first time in a while
After walking a million miles
I finally found my smile

Why can't others feel this
Am I hogging all the joy
Is this something temporary
Hope I don't destroy this

I feel guilty for feeling happy
What on earth makes me deserving
Who decides I'm someone special
Who handed me this golden medal
Can't help but think of all the people
Who weren't given all these chances
I'm grateful for the life I built
But I feel a weird survivor's guilt

I started noticing a trend
I only wanted pain to be [?]
Covering bullet wounds with Band-Aids

Why can't others feel this
Am I hogging all the joy
Is this something temporary
Hope I don't destroy this

I feel guilty for feeling happy
What on earth makes me deserving
Am I really someone special
Did I earn this golden medal
Can't help but think of all the people
Who weren't given all these chances
I'm grateful for the life I built
But I feel a weird survivor's guilt

God knows I don't deserve this
What have I even done
Who says that I am worthy
Who says that I have won
I wish that I could share this wealth with the people who pass by
As I people watch and see their frowns
All I ask is why

I feel guilty for feeling happy
What on earth makes me deserving
Who decides I'm someone special
Who handed me this golden medal
Can't help but think of all the people
Who weren't given all these chances
I'm grateful for the life I built
But I feel a weird survivor's guilt

I feel guilty for feeling happy
What on earth makes me deserving
Am I really someone special
Did I earn this golden medal
Can't help but think of all the people
Who weren't given all these chances
I'm grateful for the life I built
But I feel a weird survivor's guilt