Surrogate

The dentist asks me questions
With all their gear inside my mouth
Cuz they know if I respond
I’ll get scraped and I cannot swallow
My eagerness to please
And keep my jaw agape

My surrogate wouldn’t care either way
She’s got thick, thick hide
She likes some gear in her bite
I first found her on 495
On the shoulder, there she lay
Her chest had ‘firestone’ engraved

I knelt to check for a pulse in her wrist
Only to be met with a straight barbell
That wet the back of my neck
As she put her jaw around my throat for a kiss

“Is this how one makes friends?” I ask myself
(I don’t know)

The couple on the floor below
Skirmish verbally
They do this constantly
It’s 1 am and I cannot swallow my eagerness to please
And tell them to let me sleep

When the wife eventually peels out
Like a wagon in mud
Her Geo Metro leaving behind an acrid cloud of dust
My surrogate crawls down the steps
To ask the husband what’s up

So she’s fawning in the foyer
Then she’s fawning on the memory foam
Then I hear the new couple on the floor below me
Their reverberating moans

When the night is spent
My surrogate comes back
She tells me how it went
And we exchange a laugh

‘Just don’t forget who
Took you off the side of 495’ I tease
She playfully flashes her barbell at me