Surprise

My conscience fin'lly got to me;
Workin' sixty hours a week
Leavin' her alone, bored to death at home
So one day, I asked off early
I drfopped that bottle of wine
When I flipped on the light
You can't imagine my:

Surprise: they were havin' a real good time
Yeah, I nearly lost my mind
When I saw the leather an' spikes around her neck
An' he was handcuffed to my bed
An' I thought he was my friend
Guess it was all lies: yeah, surprise!

The judge gave her all I had
An' he did the same for my old friend
Yeah, his Lexus an' his house all went to his spouse
So when I moved out, he just moved in
He went back to get his drawers at the place he lived before:
Guess who answered the door?

Surprise: I hooked up with his ex-wife
Who's prettier an' sweeter than mine
Now we're livin' his XRI Jacuzzi bath;
Yeah, we just sit back in them bubbles an' laugh
While they're livin' in my run down shack
Yeah, serves 'em right: surprise

Surprise, surprise: yeah that trip to Mali sure was nice
Oh, in Vegas we rolled the dice
Now it's steak an' taters every night
Next weekend, yeah, we're headed off to Disneyland
Yeah, I knew he was rich but now
Hell I can retire: surprise!