Superlative Heroes

[Intro]
Faster than a speeding bullet
More powerful than a locomotive
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
This amazing stranger from the planet Krypton, the Man of Steel—

[Verse 1: Samsa]
Yo, I’m not your average superhero, I don’t wear a cape or tights
And you won’t catch me slingin' webs through cityscapes, I’m scared of heights
I’m not your textbook superhero, I can’t levitate or fly
But if you pass the Sunday crossword, I won’t hesitate to try
I’m not the type of vigilante who goes off avengin' homicides
More the kind to just correct a comma splice
Constructive criticism supervillain, yes, I’m honest when I prompt advice
But even when a novice writes, I always leave my comments nice
Leap buildings in a single bound, y’all should see the way my fingers race
Through city streets of letter keys, whether double or single-spaced
Faster than a speeding bullet, if you’re talkin' words per minute
Write so comprehensive, each bullet point holds the world within it
Power like a locomotive, discipline of Sage strength
Essays that I write are twenty pages past the page length
Not the Man of Steel, but when I sit to write, I’ve got no Kryptonite
As long as I’ve got coffee I can sip tonight
Call me Cyclops, I’ve got laser vision page revision
Not a next gen X-Men, but I’m crazy with the red pen
Mutant when I’m writin', yes, my drafts have got evolvin' genes
Watch me wieldin' clauses like I’m Wolverine and cause a scene

[Verse 2: Headhaunter]
I’m not your average superhero, I don’t mask my voice like this
Secret identity’s dull, I don’t see a point in it
I’m not out here to save the world on day/night protocols
I just take my pride in sentence structure, phase right through the walls of text
Polished, read a second time, kind of like Professor X
But I read essay lines instead of minds until they're all correct
Triple-check that proper punctuation ends it
Perfect verbs with fantastic nouns like Ben Grimm
Spin webs of any size and catch a reader’s attention
Nab plagiarists like flies, I write with tingling senses
Swing right overhead with lines of super tensile strength
Fingers type like streaks of light, whether past or present-tense
I arrive just in time, type more than Cyborg
Not Robin, no red or green underline eye sores
I channel Raven, write in style of Edgar Allen Poe
No green eyes, but tackle any beast of rhetoric that you know, yeah
They can call me any hour, but they view it as a lesser power
When my essays get an A on top, like Avenger's Tower
In the meantime, I think I’ll go into hiding
Reckless vigilante with his helmet on, still writing