Super Slab Showdown

Me an' Earl was workin' the superslab outside a' that Ogallala?
When outta town come a local clown in a '65 Impala
Had a 'coon tail flyin' off a' his whip antenna

We was haulin' a load a' them go-go girls
Truckin' 'em over to O-town
Old boy got on his microphone
Says "How's about a little showdown?"

Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out vittles
Swing them heifers and away we go

Wake up, Earl, we gots to race that pile a' junk over ta North Platte city

Well, one-eyed bears and deuces wild
We got the back door pad-locked
He says, "Bet five bucks and a side a' beef
"I can beat them cows ta Flat Rock."

You hear that, Earl? He says he's gonna whip Ol' Bessie here!

I says, "Call your five and raise ya ten
"Jes' kiss that Chevy goodby, boy
"'Cause when Bessie hits that floatin' gear
"You gonna be eatin' Hereford pie. Yeah."

Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
She gonna round them curves at thirty gees
A trunk full a' cows an' a hood full a' bees

Move it up a notch, Earl
Yeah, that's it. That's floatin' gear! C'mon Bessie!

Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn
If we don't win, we gonna sell the farm

If this old wreck don't break my neck
We gonna take them cows to a discatheque

I says, "Come on, Earl, let's give it a whirl
"That Chevy is a-pickin' up speed."
Well, we crossed the Platte at a hundred flat
Old Bessie was a-blowin' the weeds

We definitely was in that Monfort lane

Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace
When the Chevy made a fatal pass
Yeah, he got too close
Got a terminal dose a' that good ol' Hereford gas
Phew!

Hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck's gonna make us a buck
She's rollin' the boulevard shakedown

Hot damn, I'm a truckin' man
And I sorta like ta put my foot down
This old rig gonna blow your wig
Got go-go girls and a Peterbilt cab
Gonna see ya all out on the superslab for a showdown