Did you hear what they did to Max?
They pumped Coca Cola right up his ass
And they made him do jumping jacks
'Til his colon exploded, they said it was a gas
Did you hear what they did to Gayle?
They raped her pets, they made her watch
And as her rabbits began to wail
They washed their laughter down with her 12 year old Scotch
Suburban family of spies
Movin' on up, and in like flies
At a Doukhobor picnic, Dick
You don't realize the size of the rise
Of the suburban family of spies
Did you hear what they did to Lenore?
They shot her full of hormones from a third-rate vet
And in a couple of weeks or more
She started to lactate and they fed Gayle's surviving pets
Did you hear what they cut off Jacques?
I bet you can guess, I bet you can guess
You better not tell, but I bet you can guess
I bet you can guess, and I heard them say you were next
Suburban family of spies
Movin' on up, and in like flies
At a Doukhobor picnic, Dick
You don't realize the size of the rise
Of the suburban family of spies
What does every newborn baby ask
As soon as he hits the obstetrician's hands
He cries "Who are you working for? Who are you working for?"
Did you hear that the Jews killed Christ?
I bet you did, it's a goddamn lie
If you wanna know how your savior got iced
I suggest you ask a suburban family spy