Stuck in Daily Mail Land

You won't believe what I read in the paper this morning
But it's true, there's no smoke without fire, their reporting never fails
I just can't wait till it drops through the box in the morning
It's my treat for the day, with the wife, she's still yawning
As we read everyday, it's the truth, no distorting, never tales

Stuck in Daily Mail Land
Stuck in Daily Mail Land
But you don't understand

Some people knock it, I know, but for me it's the bible
I believe every word guarantees my survival, I'm a fan
I just don't care what they say, just be sure I don't listen
To the lies that they say, that the paper's on a mission
Cause the wife and me agree to ignore all the negatives we can

Stuck in Daily Mail Land
Stuck in Daily Mail Land
But you don't understand

Stuck in Daily Mail Land
But you don't understand

I never read all the rest, it's a test of my loyalty
Don't need any more, I get bored with variety I'm sure
You know I've read every day, come what may, since my puberty
My Ma and my Pa used to swear it's validity
How can you suggest, or molest, it's sincerity is pure

Stuck in Daily Mail Land
Stuck in Daily Mail Land
But you don't understand

Stuck in Daily Mail Land
But you don't understand