Strings

[Verse]
I'ma start on three
Time to play the keys I'ma start on C
Had to pay dues, had to start on free
Before I can help you I gotta start on me
I mean I've never been the type to, type you
Never feels right when I write you
I just wanna fight you
Insight new feeling but it's​ hard to make the rounds
Make life sound great but it's harder than it sounds
And I don't know why they wanna blame me
Made a little money but I'll never let it change me
Made a lot of money now a nigga feeling angry
Because in the end well I guess I'm not the same me
But that's how its suppose to be right?
Searching for the stars because I'm close to the night
Afraid that I'ma drop the ball like I ain't holding it right
And judging by voice fuck I'm supposed to be white, right?
You know I grew up in the spotlight
Thousand-point scorer high school had my shot right
Always had a girl, getting head at a stoplight
Never wanna leave school this is what the top like?
Drinking cause it supposed be fun, like "Fuck it, I'm young"
Man I'm supposed to be dumb, supposed to be numb
Girl, you ain't close to a nun, there's supposed to be cum
Come Sunday you gon say that you done but um
Well I bet that you're not
Used to tell my ex-girl "you forget that you're hot"
And these guys just wanna fuck you, wanna get to your spot
Don't let us become undone, don't let em get to the knot
Not gonna say that I wasn't crazy or insane
But there were nights when you left me in pain
Trust wasn't there, we just evaporated
The house that love built it became dilapidated, uh
I had to build from the ground
And two years later that's when I found
The woman that I knew I would dedicate my life to
And realized there's emotions that I can bring the mic to
And since then it's been a battle never-ending
Never had money so time I was never spending
Started seeing money from the slow grind
Major label cosign now they fucking think that I'm pretending?
Nah, nah, I promise you never that
Speaking my mind is the thing that I am better at
And I ain't got time for the politics
Groupies, hollow chicks, THOTS that swallow dicks nah
Tell you once again girl I'm taken
Try to make a move I'm sorry but your mistaken
Me and Sara have a bond and it's never breaking
Think about her when I sleep, I think about her when I'm waking up
Tell these rappers no they can't bait me
Tell my friends you have every single right to hate me
Money's what I'm making so I can't let it make me
See how long it took so I can't let it take me
Down, and if does then I sinking
Really I'm just trying get a buzz when I'm drinking
Missing all theses moments, always does when I'm blinking
Crashed my mom's car, kicked out of a bar what was I thinking?
Nah, nah I wasn't that's the truth
Sorry I was drunk, that's just an excuse
That's just the proof
My raps have substance really to hide my substance abuse
Traits from a birth mother that I never met
Birthed from a father I forget
Shit load of siblings that I regret to inform that we'll never be close cuz me you don't get

[Outro]
Nah and it's not your fault that's the way that I survived
Way I stayed alive, when I went to the hospital for failure to thrive
And when I look in the mirror sometimes I think there's not too much to see
But the one I can count on is I will always have me
And I struggle every day like why can't I let fucking people in?
I don't know, I don't know
Every single day, I don't know why, I don't know why....