Stop / Rewind / Play / Record

[COMPUTER, spoken]
Welcome to the Internet's newest matchmaking site. Cupid's Leftovers dot com: Your last stop for finding any hope of love. Now, state your name and actual age

[KAT]
My name is Kat, I'm 35

[COMPUTER, spoken]
Are you sure?

[KAT]
My name is Kat, I'm 39

[COMPUTER, spoken]
No, seriously

[KAT]
My name is Kat, I'm 41

[COMPUTER, spoken]
Fine, go on

[KAT]
I'm an incredibly successful-

[COMPUTER, spoken]
Ahem

[KAT]
Modestly successful-
Totally broke composer

[KAT, spoken]
This is me, and this is my gear, and this is live looping. I can lay down a couple of bars of music, like this. Then, it plays back while I lay down another, and I trigger each of them with my pedals, like this. I am a one woman symphony!

[KAT]
Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record
Oh

I compose musical installations
Conceptual happenings in Brooklyn
Somewhere weird, obscure, and far
Out on the edge of the musical galaxy
A handful of hipsters come to show how hip they are

They stand around judging and stroking their beards
As they sip from a box of free wine
But hey, I don't care about them
All I know is the music they're hearing is mine
Yeah, I'm there to

Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record (Ooh oh)
Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record (Oh oh)

When the baby won't sleep and he cries all the time
And it all becomes too much for me
I come to this room and I turn on my gear
And then just for a moment I'm free
Yeah, I get to

Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record (Oh oh)

And this is why I'm so addicted to recording
'Cause you get to rewind, go back and edit things out
Completely, hopelessly addicted to recording
You can act without fear, you can wipe away your doubt

When you're recording you can wrap yourself up
Inside a big wall of sound, and nothing's written in stone
It feels so good when you're recording
That you almost can forget that you're broke
That you're cold
That you're truly alone
But I'm no longer alone
So I need a real job

So I wrote the score for this video game

[VIDEO GAME VOICE]
Real job
Real job
Real job

[KAT]
It hurtles geeky boys through space
And makes them feel like supermen
They'll save the universe
I'll save my sanity

[VIDEO GAME VOICE]
Sanity
Sanity
Sanity

[KAT]
And soon there'll be heat in my apartment once again

And I get to make symphonies, sweeping and soaring
For each little space cruiser revving and roaring
They want all the music to sound like John Williams
And that way this game will sell milliams and billiams

Now I make soundtracks for game-playing boys
The song of their sweat and their pain and their joys
The ecstasy of victory!
And the agony of defeat
And the intergalactic explorer
Rocketing to my beat

Strings!
Trumpets!
Low brass
Some bombast

[KAT, spoken]
And I turn these teenage couch potatoes into...

[KAT]
Star Blazers!
Star Blazers!
Go forth and find your destiny
On every distant shore
You fly against the odds
Immortal as the gods
You fail and then prevail again
To sail where no one's ever been before!

So my weird solo shit gathers dust on the shelf
But soon someone'll hear me aside from myself
When this game comes out with my big macho score
The whole industry will be hungry for more!

And those decades I toiled in humble obscurity
Will lead to some kind of financial security
For now I'm a broke single mom with a baby
I'm desperate but sexy, so hey, call me maybe?

If you're an adventurer ready to trek
Through some uncharted dating frontiers
With a woman like me
And you don't mind changing a diaper now and then
Then remember

My name is Kat, I'm 35
My name is Kat, I'm 39
My name is Kat, I'm 41
My name is Kat, I'm 45!

[over electric violin solo]
Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record
Stop rewind play record