Stoner With A Boner

One two it's something new
Three four you ain't heard it before

I am the one man band in your speaker cone
You're the girl who's home alone
JVC's gonna take you to another zone
I'm gonna fuck you with my microphone

My hands are on the move, soon I'm feeling your chest
As I use my eyes to check out the rest
Of your body, I like your smile the best
Your teeth are white like rice so you must use Crest

I'm gonna strip you like a coat of paint
The Lord knows I ain't no saint
And when it comes to making love I show no restraint
I'll get busy on your beaver til you start to faint

Your clothes are on the floor, now you're in the nude
And that's what it takes to get me in the mood
I'm like the fork and you're the food
So get a grip girl cuz you're gonna get screwed

I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner

I'm always thinking bout getting laid
Like my very first time in the seventh grade
My friends and I were on a panty raid
And back then the girls loved me so I had it made

I picked one with long blonde hair
And little red hearts on her underwear
It was her time of the month but I didn't care
My desire for her was too much to bear

I got hard when she gave me head
That girl knew what she was doing in bed
Her eyes were blue and her lips were red
And she was sucking away until I finally said

I'm as hard as I'm ever gonna get
So let's get it on now while your cunt is still wet
From now on I'm forever in your debt
For giving me the best night of my life as yet

I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner
I'm a stoner with a boner

I'm stoned....

I'm a stoner with a boner
And we all know that I'm the world's biggest loner
I'm a stoner with a boner
That's me