Stifle (J-Stiffy Diss)

[Intro]
Yeah, not really sure why I have to deal with this type of shit, but alright, yo

[Verse 1]
J-Stiffy, ol' J-Stiff, the greatest local rapper you don't even know exists
With a style like K. Swiss, meaning it's worn and it's played
With a name like J-Stiffy, oh what more can I say?
Come on, I'm blown away, man I'm serious, "kid's a wicked lyricist"
Throwing out my name as though he's fearless, but I can hear it in your tone
You're sounding a bit shaky, your delivery is lacking, now your raft I be deflating
I be sinking them, really think you're dumb, thinking you're better than me, but I'm bеgging to differ
I'm sending him out to sea bеfore he begins to see the sun
Cheeky cunt, fuck you and your dingy, I eat MCs for fun
My advice to you is turn away and run, no, you're not great
You're lost space, get socked in your mom's face
Fuck off, little bitch, big shot in the dark, caught in the crawl space
Suppose you accost some, but umm, probably not Nate
You gotta call some other lost soul to come and massage your prostate
I floss great, awfully posh, boss takes
His time, makin' the rhymes, flyer than y'all on a plane
My name is Nathan, better known as Jarv Number Two
Close second to the greatest local rapper known as, who?

[Interlude]
Wait what was his name again? J-Stiffy. That's his name, J-Stiffy... Wow dude, cool name man. Alright then, here we go

[Verse 2]
Ah shit, I got roasted, third degree. I never heard the kid, but I know he's heard of me
It must be difficult to be the dopest local MC, yet you gotta mention me to get some likes on FB
Oh Jesse, we can end it now, it doesn't have to get messy. If you wanna compare rap sheets
Grab the scale and let's see. You got one song on SoundCloud, wow you're so profound
How could I have overlooked you? The greatest rapper in town, now Stiffler
From American Pie, right? I mean, cause from what I can see
You're just as dumb and equally childlike. I can see it now, you were gassed off your friends
Like I should try him, right? No bro, my shit is hot and I can tell you're more the mild type
I'm making history, burning this herb like Listerine, brought out the masochist in me
Now bitch admit defeat. You cannot sit with me nor stand with me, can't even begin to handle me
I'm giving your ass a pass, now go home and hug your family, little bastard. J-Flaccid
Is whack, making me bat shit, I could be found drowning his fake ass in Lake Placid
Fact is, he lacks actual talent, yet it's as if he be thinkin' he can test the kid
I best commence to smash him. Damn man, how can I advance?
We're the greatest local rapper, put a damper on my plans. He answers the no man
A tough guy in a muscle-bound bro-stance. But fuck it, somebody has to put Stiffy back in his pants

[Interlude]
Right, I mean, dude, you can't just...
You can't just say something, and just automatically have it be true, you know?
Gotta pay some bills, yo, (gunna learn today boy), yo

[Verse 3]
While you were in Newport, New Hampshire, with your thumb inside your asshole
I was touring down the East Coast with my dudes, R.A. and Afro
Who's local now, bro? Thinkin' you're poundin' on the down-low
I'm loco, and I'm crazy, you're too vocal with your sound, bro
When the day comes that I'm finally touring Europe, I'll be sure to send a postcard
To the hardest local cat I've never heard of
Love Jarv, it's love, really, I mean this
Wow, it's truly an honor being dissed by J-Stiffy micro-penis
My friends who don't even rap, rap better out back
Of a party smashed off the top of the cap, then you in a written, recorded track
A simple fact, it's mathematics, you can't handle the static
I combat with leaving you packin' on some badly broken back shit
I'm snappin', you ain't got the stones to step
I'm prone to leave your dome blown, bro, go home and rest
I'm a pro with the microphone, flow's in check
Inspect the method when I flex and feel your poems deflect
Yes, you're weak, man, you know I've heard it so many times
Stereotypical flow and some cliché rhymes
Another fake toy with the fake Drake voice
If you wanna take the stage after me, I guarantee nobody makes noise
You're scoring with the ladies, huh? Congrats, they're dumb
You're just another wack rapper with a faggot fuckin' haircut
Mention me again? While I commend you for your labor
I ain't hearin' it, consider this a favor

[Outro]
Enjoy your free publicity, man
It's the most you ever get, so just embrace it, man, you know
Really drink it in, yo, I hope you enjoy it
If I seem a bit rash, actually I'm having fun with this
Giving your bitch ass whiplash, whip out your tongue and dip (x2)
It's Jarv