Stepsisters’ Lament

[CHARLOTTE]
Why would a fellow want a girl like her
A frail and fluffy beauty?
Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer
A solid girl like me?

She’s a frothy little bubble
With a flimsy kind of charm
And with very little trouble
I could break her little arm!!

[LADY OF THE COURT]
Ow. Ow!

[CHARLOTTE]
Why would a fellow want a girl like her
So obviously unusual?
Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer
A usual girl like me?

[A SECOND LADY OF THE COURT]
Her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink

[CHARLOTTE]
But not any pinker than a rose is

[A THIRD LADY OF THE COURT]
Her skin may be delicate and soft

[CHARLOTTE]
But not any softer than a doe’s is

[A FOURTH LADY OF THE COURT]
Her neck is no whiter than a swan’s

[LADY]
She’s only as dainty as a daisy

[CHARLOTTE]
She’s only as graceful as a bird
So why is the fellow going crazy?

[CHARLOTTE & THE LADIES OF THE COURT]
Oh why would a fellow want a girl like her
A girl who’s merely lovely
Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer
A girl who’s merely me?

What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?

[CHARLOTTE]
Yes, he’s witty
So disarming
And I really like the way he holds a room

Clever cunning
Ever charming
How do I make him see I’m special?
It’s a pity

[LADIES OF THE COURT]
It’s a pity

[CHARLOTTE]
I’m as pretty

[LADIES OF THE COURT]
I’m as pretty

[ALL]
Plus I’ve got the patience
Of a perfect saint

So I’m waiting
Always waiting
Nevertheless
I’m in a mess

[CHARLOTTE]
Loosen my dress
Help me I’m starting to faint!

[LADIES OF THE COURT]
Why would a fellow want a girl like her
A girl who isn’t dizzy
Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer

[CHARLOTTE]
A high-strung girl like me

[CHARLOTTE (and WOMEN)]
Her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink
(What’s the matter with the man?)
But not any pinker than a rose is
(What’s the matter with the man?)
Her skin may be delicate and soft
(What’s the matter with the man?)
But not any softer than a doe’s is

Her neck is no whiter than a swan’s
(What’s the matter with the man?)
She’s only as dainty as a daisy
(What’s the matter with the man?)
She’s only as graceful as a bird
(What’s the matter?)

[ALL]
So why is the fellow going crazy?
Oh, oh

Why would a fellow want a girl like her
A girl who’s merely lovely?
Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer
A girl who’s merely me?

[LADIES OF THE COURT]
What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?

[CHARLOTTE]
She’s the matter
Let me at her!!!

[CHARLOTTE & LADIES OF THE COURT]
What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?
What’s the matter with the man?

[CHARLOTTE]
What’s the matter with the man?