Status Back Baby [The Ark]

FZ: We'll begin with that crappy old tune "Status Back Baby."

I’m losing status at the High School
I used to think that it was my school
WAH WAH WAH
I was the king of every school activity
But that's no more . .
Oh mama, what will come of me?
Oh-wow, Oh-oh-oh-wow

The other night we painted posters
They played some records by the Coasters
WAH WAH WAH
A bunch of pom-pom girls
Looked down their nose at me
They had painted tons of posters
I had painted three
I hear the secret whispers
Everywhere I go
My school spirit is at an all-time low

I'm losing status at the High School
I used to think that it was my school
WAH WAH WAH
Everyone in towns know
I’m a handsome football star
I sing and dance and spray my hair
And drive a shiny car
I'm friendly and I'm charming
I belong to De Molay
I'm gonna try like mad
To get my status back today
Oh-wow, Oh-oh-oh-wow
Status back, Baby
Status back, Baby
Status back, Baby
Status back, Baby

FZ: Now we got desperate a few months ago and uh, because we thought nobody liked us. And uh, we're also pissed off at the fact that people won't play our records on the radio, and we didn't know whether or not it was 'cause our music was crappy or because somebody really knew what the words to the songs meant. And so they couldn’t . . . So they wouldn’t take a chance. So we came to the conclusion that actually all it was was a conspiracy against the Mothers Of Invention because we're supposedly so dirty, vile and crazy and also a threat to our great nation and all that it has stood for in the past and we hope that will not continue to stand for in the future . . . However boys and girls . . . The people who run the radio stations are on the watch, you know, for our records, when they come in as soon as somebody sends a single to the radio station with our name on it they either melt it, break it, stomp on it or send it in an envelope directly back to the record company from which it came with a threatening note. But we said, "What the heck? Why can’t we be just like other teen-age rock & roll bands—outside of the fact that we're all over thirty—and go and cut a single record and try and get the sucker on the radio?" So what we did was we went into a professional recording studio in New York City in the middle of the night for two nights in a row and also a Saturday afternoon for mixing and cranked out two miserable teen-age type records with words that couldn't possibly offend anybody and uh they're reasonably singable—by any group other than the Mothers Of Invention—and uh, they’re teen-age boy-girl type songs. And so they're being released this week. I would expect to be able to add these to our list of smash flops very shortly. We'll begin our medley of Mothers Of Invention hit singles, ahem, with the B-side of this one, which is a tune called "Valarie." By the way, did you know that "Big Leg Emma" was released as a single? I can't understand why that didn't get on the radio. That's just as, that's just as imbecilic as "Yummy Yummy Yummy." Well, I think the size of the woman's leg had something to do with it. A large stomach— that's one thing. Big legs— I don't know . .