Spitting Image

[Verse 1]
I'm not gonna be able to go
See a doctor for a long time
'Cause I'm ashamed to show the many cuts
That were punctured with a blunt knife
It's easier to deny
And to lie about the impact
I had a seven year running start
Never crossed the line and finished

[Pre-Chorus]
So when I close my eyes to think about it
I have to be brave
I have to use the muscles around my stomach
To hold my back in place
I feel it starting in the back of my head
And shooting down my neck

[Chorus]
But I'm not here to fight it
And I'm not here because I like it

[Verse 2]
I'm not gonna be able to go
Up to your doorstep for a long time
Because you caught me in the first few days
When my intuition fell quiet

[Pre-Chorus]
I tried to keep you at arms length
But every look gave me away
Now I keep shutting down at every mention
Because it hurts less to escape
I walk slower when my guard is down
Letting you keep up the chase

[Chorus]
So now I'm here to fight it
Because I can't be here unless I like it

[Refrain]
We grow up and become
The spitting image of
Who we didn't want to be

[Verse 3]
Every once in a while
I am reminded of that morning
When her spirit felt material
And I knew that she was listening
I sat up silently in bed
Wondering who'd be next to call
But I had to wait another minute
To let everything go
I still feel shocking pangs of helplessness
Whenever I'm alone too long

[Bridge]
And I didn't leave her
She left me
It's not about blaming
It's about history
Look out here comes the hostility

[Refrain]
We grow up and become
The spitting image of
Who we didn't want to be