Spidey-Bells (A Hero’s Lament)

[Chorus]
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Swinging through Midtown
Oh what fun to sling a web
And take the bad guys down
Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Quipping all the time
Oh, what fun to swing around
New York while fighting crime

[Verse 1]
Thwipping through the streets
Of New York every night
Wrapping bad guys up
In my web so tight
Crawling up the walls
Making villains fight
What fun to make the holidays
Free from crime tonight

[Chorus]
Oh, Spider Bells, Goblin smells
Vulture laid an egg
Spider-Buggy blew a tire
Venom got away-ay
Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Swinging all the way
Oh, what fun it is to fight
The bad guys every night

[Verse]
Swinging through the streets
A web of spider silk
Kicking all the butts
Of villains and their ilk
Bombs from goblins fling (Fling!)
Pumpkins burning bright (Bright!)
How hard it is to consistently bring
Peace to New York all night

[Chorus]
Oh, Spidey Bells, might be swell
To do more than fight crime
I got a lotta qualities that don't get much airtime
I can sing, I can dance
I tell jokes, I act
I get big, big... big deal
My agent, call me back

[Bridge]
Why did I agree to do this stupid song?
I have a degree in Chemical Engineering
I thought it would be fun to show this side of me
But now I feel it lacks artistic integrity

[Chorus]
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Is this who I've become?
Selling out my good name
For an impulse-buy album
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
I'm filled with deep regret
I'm cancelling this song's release
For the press I get

[Outro]
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Swinging through Midtown
Oh what fun to sling a web
And take the bad guys down