Sparkling Water!

[Intro, Spoken]
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! (Pssst-ck! Krsheu!)
(f-f-f-filtered on the beat)

[Chorus]
McDonald's Sprite? How 'bout sparkling water?
Want less sugar? You don't even have to bother
The flavors are superb, try the grape
Sparkling water makes you feel super, no need for a cape
Give me a choice? Sparkling water I choose
Sorry, Sprite, you lose!

[Post-Chorus, Spoken]
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

[Verse 1]
Hey, it's fil', I'm here to help you figure out
What kind of sparkling water, and what amount
You could choose the thirty pack, or more and fewer
Don't shake the can, or you'll get a spewer
You can drink it straight, or with a metal straw (Sksk, save the turtles!)
You've heard of other seltzers, man, fuck White Claw! (Sparkling hits so well, call me Moaning Myrtle)
Me, right now? I'm drinking the Waterloo
I recommend, here, you can have a cup, too
Zero calories, zero sugar, zero calories, zero sugar, across the whole can
And Coke bought AHA? Wrong choice, man

[Chorus]
McDonald's Sprite? How 'bout sparkling water?
Want less sugar? You don't even have to bother
The flavors are superb, try the grape
Sparkling water makes you feel super, no need for a cape
Give me a choice? Sparkling water I choose
Sorry, Sprite, you lose!

[Post-Chorus, Spoken]
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

[Verse 2]
Free advertisement to every single brand, am I sponsored?
This album's already a hit, go buy some tickets to the concert
So bubbly, I think my jaw hurts
Speaking of, try Bubly, it's bussin', too much for words
Most flavors are nice, but the blackberry matches my aesthetic
That purple is fuckin' electric, fuckin' epic
Next is title track, the best name ever
No sugars, no nothing, how fuckin' clever
I think you might as well welcome me to carbonated nation
I'll stock up at the nearest gas station

[Chorus]
McDonald's Sprite? How 'bout sparkling water?
Want less sugar? You don't even have to bother
The flavors are superb, try the grape
Sparkling water makes you feel super, no need for a cape
Give me a choice? Sparkling water I choose
Sorry, Sprite, you lose!

[Post-Chorus, Spoken]
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

[Outro, Spoken]
Chug! Ch-chug! Chug! Chug! Ch-chug, chug!
Chug! Ch-chug! Chug! Chug! Ch-chug, chug!