SONIC PSYCHEDELIC MANIFESTO

[Sonic S̶e̶z̶ Says Intro]

[01. Don’t call 911 for your measly flesh wound.]
We're surrounded, Sonic! Call 911!
No way, Tails! This is nothing!
911 is for REAL emergencies!
If we call 911 for assistance, someone who REALLY needed help would be in trouble!
If there's a fire, or someone's trying to break into your home, or somebody's been hurt, THAT'S when you call 911!
One person's dumb joke could be another person's disaster!

[02. Sharing means chilli dogs for everyone!]
Hey, Tails, got an extra dog?
Sorry, this is all I've got. Got some extra chilli?
Sorry, kid. This here's all I've got!
Hey! If we share, well we could turn those plain old hot dogs into three mouth-watering, tastebud-tantalizing chilli dogs!
See, guys? When you share, everybody's happy!

[03. Don’t let strangers touch you there.]
Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like, but if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good!
It's your body. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to!
So what do ya do? First, you say no! Then, you get outta there!
Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer!

[04. Quicksand will kill you.]
Sonic, they're so slow!
Everyone has something special to offer!
You... are... standing... in... quicksand!
Quicksand!? Yikes!
Don't... panic. Move... slowly... and... you'll... be... okay!
Phew!
Even you could learn something from a sloth!

[05. Trains will kill you.]
Brace your claws! Ready... Set...
Wait! Did you feel that? Oh, there's a train coming!
Come on, ya big coward, go!
I'd call it a tie, but I'd hate to see any of my friends wiped out over some DUMB dare!
Play it safe. Use your head, don't end up dead!

[06. Graffiti is bad.]
Hold it, little buddy! Art is WAY past cool, Tails, but don't use a building for a canvas, 'cause that's graffiti!
Well, let's see it!
Now THAT'S art! I'm waiting...!
Now that's WAY past art!

[07. Memorize your phone number.]
Uh, oh, I think I'm lost! Yaow!
I gotta find a phone, fast!
Operator? I want to call home. Uh, the number? Uh...
Got it! Thanks, Sonic! Okay, that's area code-
You can't call home unless you know your area code, and phone number by heart! Memorize it now! Don't wait until it's too late!

[08. Tanning is will make you the toast of the town.]
I want a great-looking tan like that sunfish over there, but I'll never get it sitting under this umbrella!
Patience, Tails! You'll get your tan the right way!
Sunscreen? But this will take all day!
The damage caused by one bad sunburn can last the rest of your life! Getting burnt is BAD news!
Use sunscreen, and don't stay out too long! Your tan might take a little longer, but it's a zillion times safer!

[09. Plant a god damn tree.]
Pee-yew! That's WAY stale, guys!
Ahhh! Nothing like the fresh smell of the forest to clear out the old grey matter!
That's 'cause plants and trees make oxygen in their leaves, and your body NEEDS oxygen! You can't run without it!
So if you live in the city, do your lungs a favour; plant a tree!
Now if only chilli dogs grew on trees...

[10. Tell your folks where you’re going.]
Boom boom?
I'll "Boom boom" you, you muscle-bound ape! What's the big idea?
Boom boom, gah!
No problem! I'll find 'em for ya!
The next time, don't wander off without letting your daddy know where you're gonna be! That goes for you too, pals!
Always tell your folks where you're going, and when you'll be back! Bad things can happen if you don't!

[11. Loud music is distracting.]
We'll flatten that flea-bag fox!
Where'd he go?
Thanks, Sonic!
Music's great, Tails, but you gotta be aware of your surroundings, too!
Huh? Whatjasay!?
Plus it ruins your hearing if you play it too loud!
We gotta fix that parking brake!

[12. If it sounds too good to be true, it’s false.]
Kids, it's Robodude, the kid's best friend! It cleans up your room, and does all your chores while you're out having fun!
Get a dude, Robodude! Only $9.98, plus batteries, key attachments, program chips, remote control, storage unit, [?], wax dispenser, and disposable trash bags. That'd be $99.98!
If it sounds TOO good to be true, it's probably false!

[13. Ask an adult how to read.]
I love reading. Books could take you to far-away lands and exotic places, OR show you how to see everyday things in a WAY-cool way! Too bad some people have a problem learning how to read.
If you know someone that has trouble reading, tell them to ask a teacher, or get help at a local library. All they have to do is ask!
I'll tell ya, there's worlds of fun in reading!

[14. Don’t get in cars with strangers.]
Hiya, kid! We're friends of Sonic, he's been hurt and needs your help!
Sonic's been hurt!?
Hold it! You don't even know these guys! It's not safe to get into a car with strangers!
Uh, oh!
Scratch and Grounder!? I'm never going anywhere with strangers!
You bet your life, little buddy!

[15. Eat your fruits and vegetables.]
Hey Tails, whatdya doing?
Having lunch, Sonic, want some?
No thanks, little bud! You know, I love chilli dogs, but the old bod needs some fruit and vegetables now and then! Milk and dairy products, too! Not to mention fish and poultry! Don't forget your breads and cereals! You need a premium meal to run your best!
Ugh, right.

[16. If you run away, you’ll end up in a junkyard.]
Where are you going, Coconuts?
I'm runnin' away. Doctor Robotnik doesn't love me!
So you really think it's gonna be better? Out there?
You'll have no safe place to go, and no one to oil you and change your batteries when they get low. You could get into some bad trouble! Why you could end up... in the junkyard! Hey, it may not be perfect, but when you get right down to it, there's no place like home!

[17. Old people are wise.]
I think we're lost, Captain Rescue!
All we have to do is head north!
Lost, eh? Err, don't you young folks know that moss grows heaviest on the north side of a tree?
Thank you, sir!
Thanks!
That old bear really knew what he was talking about!
Right, Tails. Older people can be very wise, and they often know the right direction to take in life!

[18. Buckle up.]
The first contestant to fly around that pylon and back will be declared... the real Edgar Eagle! Go!
I'm Edgar Eagle! I won!
Sorry, Scratch, you're disqualified! A real hero always wears his safety belt! That goes for you too, pals!

[19. Stealing is bad.]
Wait, Sonette! You know stealing is wrong!
Nah, forget her, nice shoes! Go on, take 'em!
No, I can't!
Thanks for being honest, Sonette. I knew you'd do the right thing!
Sonic, I learned my lesson. I'm just not cut out for stealing 'cause it's just not right!

[20. Take care of your pet.]
Goobster, no!
Empty! He must've been starving! Did you feed him last night Tails?
Oops, I forgot!
A pet is a big responsibility, little buddy! You have to feed him, groom him, give him exercise, and take him to the vet every now and then! But you can't put a price on the love that you get in return!

[21. Recycle.]
Woah! Where'd all this garbage come from, Sonic?
You and me, little bro! You and me! Every time you buy something with unnecessary packaging, or order food in styrofoam take-out boxes, you're part of the problem! Trash adds up fast! But you can help! Be a smart shopper, recycle, fix things! Don't throw them away!

[22. Poison ivy will kill you.]
Man! You have the worst case of poison flower hives I've ever seen! It's as bad as poison ivy!
Forget the stick, Tails! Go to the drugstore and ask the pharmacist for something to stop the itching! Listen, pals, there may not be any poison flowers on Earth, but there's a lot of poison ivy!
This is what it looks like. The best thing to do is stay away from it, but if you touch it and start itching, get help FAST!

[23. Stay in school.]
Too bad we all can't plug in some genius chip when we need some smarts. Takes a lot of hard work to get an education. Gotta stay in school, do your homework, use the library. Reading and learning are like exercise for your head! If you don't put in the time, you end up with a feeble mind! It's not how big your brain is, it's what you do with it that counts! Take it from me. Use it, or lose it!

[24. Don’t let strangers in your home.]
Pizza guys! We deliver!
Wait, little bro! Remember what I told ya!
Oh yeah! "Never open the door for anybody you don't know when you're home alone, or your parents are busy."
Police, open up!
Get lost! Can't you see we're impersonating a policeman?
I hear ya knocking, but you can't come in!

[25. Maintain your bicycle.]
Come on, Sonic! Let's ride!
After I do a spot check, little bro.
After 'em! Grounder, did you tighten the- The pedals!?
Kids, get it together! Take care of your bike, and give it a regular safety check. 'Cause if it goes to pieces, so could you!

[26. Shallow water will kill you.]
Hey dudes, check this out!
Sonic, he's gonna jump!
Looks more like he's gonna take a dive to me.
Totally radical!
Diving into shallow water won't hurt a cartoon character, but a real person could wind up really hurt, or worse.
Thanks, Tails! That would've been a major bummer.

[27. Staying up late will totally screw you over the next day.]
But Sonic, I wanna stay up and watch The Late, Late, Late Show.
Okay, but don't blame me if you're too tired to go hiking tomorrow.
Rise and shine, little bro!
Time for the hike already? I don't feel so good...
Time for you to get some rest. Not getting enough sleep can ruin your whole day!

[28. Don’t climb in dryers.]
Sonic! Help! I'm getting dizzy!
Now, does that look like fun to you? If so, your brains are scrambled. Believe it or not, every year some ignorant kid takes a ride in a clothes dryer just like this one, and ends up getting hurt!
It gets pretty hot in there! And those dryer fans can break your bones when they get goin'. If you think it's smart to climb in a dryer, you're really all wet!

[29. Peer pressure sucks.]
Press the button, kid!
But Sonic's my friend! Sonic, look out, it's a trap!
You did the right thing, Junior. Never do anything you don't think is right, even if other guys say it's cool. That's called peer pressure.

[30. Smoking is bad.]
Gimme my smokes!
Smoking's bad for you, you know.
No, it's not! Try it.
Woah, little bro! That smoke will make you choke!
It doesn't make me-
Smoking is for dumb bots! It's bad for your health, and it stains your teeth. So don't be a fool, smoking isn't cool!

[31. White water rafting will kill you.]
Hey, it's some fun, eh mates?
Sure is! I'm goin' swimmin'!
Wait, little bro!
Help!
The rapids! Look out for currents and riptides in rivers, beaches, and flood channels! Always swim with an adult nearby.
Swim fun, swim safe!

[32. OBEY.]
I'm scared, Sonic. I know I should've obeyed that "No flying" sign. What's the judge gonna do to me?
I don't know, but I'm sure it'll be fair. That's what judges are for!
No flying for a whole month!
Look at the bright side, Tails. It could've been worse. The laws are there for a reason. You may not agree with them, but you gotta obey 'em. You don't EVER wanna end up in court!

[33. Don’t sneeze in people’s faces.]
You should really take better care of yourself, Slimy!
Get some rest, and drink lots of fluids!
Thanks, Sonic! I'm feeling better already!
If you get a cold, take care of yourself! If it gets worse, see a doctor!
Ach-oo!
And NEVER sneeze on anybody! Use a tissue, and cover your face.

[34. Popping pills is bad.]
Just what I need!
Hold it, Updike! "For Grounder, robot headache pills, take one a day with oil." If you're sick and need medicine, ask your parents to get it for you. NEVER, ever take medicine that isn't yours!
Somebody elses' prescription could be bad medicine for you!

[35. Tell adults where you’re going.]
I think I'll go exploring, before Sonic wakes up.
Tails? Where are ya, little bro?
Hi Sonic, what ja lookin' for?
Well, you didn't tell me where you were going! I was worried about you! Always tell your parent or a guardian where you're going, and when you'll be back! It's not safe to wander off alone!
And it's not fair to make someone worry about you!

[36. Cheating is bad.]
On your marks, get set, go!
Quack!
The name's Quark!
Yeeow!
And no one wins! Hey Quark, Robotnik, ever heard the expression, "Cheaters never prosper"? Nobody wins when you cheat. Playin' fair is the only way to go, whether you win or lose! Sonic Says!

[37. Save your money.]
These fabulous magic tricks, toys, and candy are on sale today!
Wow, I'll take it all! I hope this is enough.
Hold it, Co-co-nuts! Why waste your hard-earned cash on this junk? If you save it, why you could buy something REALLY cool.
I'll buy that new toilet plunger and make Dr. Robotnik proud!

[38. Don’t act a fool on the playground.]
Yippee!
Whaaa!
Woaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Oh, sorry, guys.
You could get hurt taking dumb chances at the playground.
Look before you leap, and watch out for little kids. Play safe, and you'll have fun.

[39. Use your imagination.]
I'm bored, Sonic. There's nothing to do.
You gotta create your own fun, little bud! Use your imagination. Build Somethin'! Gotta speed, keed!
Great swing, Tails!
That's "Astronaut Tails" to you, Sonic!
When you use your imagination, there's no limit to the places you can go, and things you can do!

[40. Cujo was a scary movie.]
Hey! Come here, little guy!
Hold it, Tails! Don't touch that squirrel, he might bite! You should never try to touch or pick up a wild animal, or even a pet you don't know! You might accidentally frighten it, causing it to bite you to protect itsel-
No, boy!
Play it safe with animals you don't know. DON'T touch. Sonic Says!

[41. Stay in school.]
At last, my new Stupidity Ray Gun is finished! Now, shoot!
Uh, oh! (Ohohohoops!)
You know, pals, there's three ways not to be stupid; One, stay in school. Two, stay in school. Three, don't forget one and two.

[42. Don’t ride in the middle of the street, dumbass.]
Thanks, Sonic! You really saved my tails this time.
Don't you know the basic bicycle safety rules, Tails? Always stay at the bike lane, and don't ride the middle of the street. Always cross the street at the crosswalk, and be sure to stop at all stop signs. Don't ride through!

[43. Stretch before you exercise.]
Look at those goofballs!<
Forget them, Tails. Stretching and warming up before a game can keep you from being injured. Hike!
Da, ha, ha oh! Ow! Oh, I pulled a muscle in my leg!
Yeah, touchdown!
Nice run, little bro! Stretch before and after you exercise!

[44. Gangs are bad.]
Okay, wise guys! Time to pay up!
Yeah! We're The Robot Gang, pay up or else!
Or else what?
Well, um... I dunno!
These dumb bots don't know much... But my pals know better than to join a gang! Why? 'Cause a life of crime only leads to a life of hard time! Play it smart, stay in school and stay out of a gang!

[45. Toxic chemicals are bad.]
Oops! I did it again!
Woah, don't do that yourself! That could be dangerous! Never clean up anything you spill unless you know it's safe! Tell your parents right away, and ask them for help! Toxic chemicals can burn or poison you. Even BREATHING them is dangerous!
What's the big deal? That stuff wasn't so powerful. Woah!
Some robots just don't listen...

[46. Hit the gym.]
Sonic, why are you working out? The Robo Olympics aren't for four years!
Gotta work out year-round, little bro! It's part of being healthy!
Cut that, or we smash Sonic!
I better start working out, too!
Woah, go slow, little bro! After all, we're not robots!
And don't forget safety precautions.

[47. Guns will kill you.]
Ha! Ya missed me!
Nice shootin', Sonic!
Cartoon characters never really get hurt by guns, but real people do! So never play with a real gun, even if you think it's NOT loaded! I don't want any of my pals getting hurt by a deadly weapon. That's not a toy!

[48. Swords will kill you.]
Oh, come on, Captain Bot! Lemmie play with your sword!
Shiver me timbers! It's not a toy!
Cool it, Tails! Captain Bot is right. Real swords and knives are NOT toys! They're sharp! You could hurt yourself, or your friends or family! Remember, you MUST have your parent's permission to use one! Be careful with knives. That's good advice anyway you slice it!

[49. The buddy system works.]
Ya know, it's not a good idea to go swimming by yourself. If anything happens, why there won't be anyone there to help you, whether you are at the beach or a swimming pool. If there's no lifeguard present, always have a friend with you!
Thanks, Sonic!
That's why they call it "The Buddy System". When you go swimming, take along your best bud! It can be a lifesaver for both of you!

[50. Wear a helmet.]
What are you doin'?
I'm gonna blast to the past on my time travel skateboard!
You WILL be history if you try that, little bud. You gotta skate safe, Tails! Come on. Wearing helmets, knee pads, and elbow pads are all part of skating safe! So is finding a safe area to skate!
Let's do it!
Time to skate, Nate!

[51. Don’t stick your fingers in electrical outlets.]
What ja working on, Tails?
I'm making The Professor's time skateboard faster!
Watch it! That's dangerous, little bro!
Hah! You can't follow me through time now, hedgehog!
Never try to fix an electrical appliance on your own! Ask your parents to do it for you, or take it to a repairman. Otherwise, you could be in for a big shock!

[52. Babies are a pain in the ass.]
Tails, are you babysitting all three of the Beaver Babes?
Sure, Sonic, no problem.
There are some important things to know about watching babies.
Keep babies away from a hot stove, and from electrical sockets.
Look out for small objects, too. Babies can choke on 'em!
And NEVER leave babies alone!

[53. Recycle.]
Here you go, guys! Courtesy of Sonic!
[?] cotton hats, [?]. Now everybody gets one. Let's go! There's work to do!
Hold it, moles! The first job is cleanup. Being productive is cool, but don't trash the environment! Recycle your garbage, and put it where it belongs!

[54. You’re not Gordon Ramsay.]
Dr, Robotnik loves omelettes!
Yeah, and he likes eggs, too!
Chef to co-chef, light my fires!
Roger, burning's on!
Don't you dumb bots know you should never cook without supervision? That goes for you, too, pals! NEVER try to cook or use the stove without your parents helping you!

[55. Wear your seatbelt.]
Seat belt on, little bro?
Check!
No! Quit distracting me, you'll make us crash!
Yay!
When you're riding a car, remember. Always wear your seatbelt, and never distract the driver. In a car, play it cool. Don't be a fool. That's the number one rule.

[56. Matches are bad.]
It's taking forever to get to the fortress by sub! I'm bored!
Hey, dumb bot, didn't anyone ever tell you to play with matches?
I'm careful.
Yehahaow! Fire! Put it out, quick!
How's this? Never play with matches, even if you think it's safe!
Remember, if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned!

[57. Ask a policeman.]
Ha, ha, we've got you now, furball!
HELP! POLICE!
O-o-oh, god! Let's get outta here!
You getting good, little buddy! If you need help, ask a policeman, 'cause it's their job to protect all of us, and it's your job to let them know when you need them!

[58. Fire will burn/kill you.]
Uh, oh. Did I leave the iron on? (Doh, hoh!)
On the floor in a fire, bots! Don't breathe the smoke! The door's hot, don't open it! Find another way out! No fire escape!?
Remember, when you're careless and mess with fire, you're gonna get burned! Sonic Says!

[59. Ask a teacher how to access the deep web.]
Dumb computer, stop beeping!
Hold on, Tails! Learning computers is a little like learning to read!
It's tough at first, but once you get it, you got a world of information right at your fingertips!
Wow! That's cool!
Take your time while learning to use a computer, and ask a teacher for help. 'Cause the more you know about computers, the more they could teach YOU!

[60. Alcohol will kill you.]
Doh, hurry up, ding bot! I wanna try this booze!
Hoo, wee! Good stuff!
Don't you bots know liquor is bad for you?
[?]! Try it, kid!
Hooooold it! Only dumb bots drink liquor. Stay away from liquor, kids! Like all drugs, alcohol is dangerous, and you could get hooked! Just remember!

[61. Breakfast fucking rules.]
I skipped breakfast, little bro! I'm runnin' low on fuel!
We got 'em this time!
You know, your body needs food like a car needs fuel! So don't be a slowmo, eat a good breakfast every day! And stay on the go!

[62. Vandalism is bad.]
This nasty playground vandalism will get us on "Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted" for sure! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
Yeah, we'll be stars! Hehe, he!
Now, "The Lifestyles of the Very Stupid." Starring: Scratch and Grounder!
"Stupid"? ("Stupid"?)
Right. Vandalism is very stupid. And, it's against the law!

[63. Brush yo teef.]
The dogs are nearly done!
OUCH! Toothache!
Have you been brushing lately, Tails? You could have a cavity! Eww, way past gross! Be sure to brush and floss your teeth after every meal, and see your dentist regularly. Teeth are made to last a lifetime, but they won't unless you take care of them.

[64. The street will kill you.]
Okay, fleabag, Let's see if you can kick my triple-curve fastball!
Yeah, let's go, foxy!
I got it! (No, you don't!)
It's mine! (Mine!) Mine! (Mine!)
Yippie, I caught it!
Looks like these dumb bots were flat-out wrong about going in the street. Remember, ask your parents to help you. The street is no place to play. Sonic Says!

[65. Libraries have books about dinosaurs.]
What's this, Sonic?
It's the library, Tails! Come on! At the library, you could find books about a million different things. Books can take you to another world, like fairy tales, or prehistoric times!
Wow! Dinosaurs!
Use your public library. 'Cause when it comes to information, learning, and entertainment, books got ya covered!