Sometimes Part 2

[Intro] [Sha talking]:
Yeah. J. Cardim. Look. I know some artists have done joints like this where they um, contradict themselves and flip flop but... I think more so, we as humans...we do that so...I had to revisit it. Fuck with me

[Verse One]:
Sometimes I think about my old songs
I hear the beat and the rhyming and think "That is so wrong"
Some verses I rambled and would just go on
But then I gave you some food for real thought that most of y'all probably choked on
I thought my joint Good Day was realer than most shit that you hear on the internet
If it was Eminem or Kanye's song they'd have won two Grammys but me? I'm still in debt
Sometimes I'm feeling conceited
Other times I'm feeling defeated
Some times I write sick bars, other verses I just space out my flows so you can repeat it
I'm thinkin', "This could be a hit record"
In the studio once I record it right
The music's blastin', sounds classic, I get home the songs sounds like shit in the morning
Damn
Sometimes I wanna have a camera man follow me around while I'm walking
So you can see when I'm performing and touring
That I ain't flossing and balling, my life's annoying boring sometimes
Sometimes I wish I had a little fame
Pause
Sometimes I wish I had B.I.G.'s fame
Then again
I might need B.I.G.'s frame
Sometimes I think I'm going insane
Sometimes I don't wanna be alone then
Sometimes I wanna be on my own and
Sometimes I wanna have me a drink
Sometimes I wanna smoke and just sit there and think
About
My life
Knowing I'mma die
Don't know when
Don't know why
Know I can't change
Know I can't cry
But I sit and analyze about these things
Sometimes I think about the first time I saw Hova
I interned at the label, he was the boss over
Look
I used to want that spot
I treated rap like I did with my jump shot and my cross over
Practiced in the mirror
Battled in the park
Sometimes I think the deal I got and lost, it broke my heart
Standing in the sun
Still feeling dark
I think I'm hotter now but I was hungry at the start
Sometimes I listen to my first tape
And I was so thirsty, a verse made the earth shake
Back then I wrote with a pen
I had first grade hand writing but I was damn nice in the worst way
Sometimes I wonder who was listening
When I was frequent on hiphopgame and shit
They saw my ass as competition and
A lot of young dudes probably prayed I'd slip
Well I pray too
Sometimes I'm hateful
I wanna make music you relate to break through
Barriers and stereotypes, I'm scared for my life
Sometimes what you hear is my sight
Other days I'm bitter and disrespectful
My nights are real uneventful
I be making turkey sausage and pancakes, nothing special
Then I switch to the best booth studio in my guest room
Murder in the booth, giving beats more than a flesh wound
Sometimes I don't wanna be alone then
Sometimes I wanna be on my own and
Sometimes I wanna have me a drink
Sometimes I wanna smoke and just...
Sometimes I think about my, bachelor party
Or wedding and a reception
Then I think about the end of that groupie love and affection
Damn
I don't need it, my family is a blessing
I've been blessed to be successful to share it might just be Heaven, fuck
Sometimes I talk to my old broads
You know, the ones I placed in the friend zone
Sometimes they flirt, is that a faux pas
Or do they want me to score in they end zone?
It could be my ego
Vein ass Leo, thinking I"m the Neo
One day I want a little girl or an eho
Then I'm with my nephew who is like a baby Debo
Then I get scared
What if I ain't cakin' and not financially prepared
With shorty in my ear like, "You can be the hottest MC in the world
But a baby can't eat your lyrics." Yes I'm aware
Yeah
A lot of kids want to rap for me
And in they verse they slut and whores or they clappin' heat
Sometimes I wanna kill 'em with my flow
And other times I want to go to their school and join their faculty
Sometimes I think of my old management
And how we used to speak all the time
Did they lose faith in all this rapping shit
Or was it just some fault of mine?
Sometimes I think about working and how it frightened me
I thought rap was my purpose but that enlightened me
Now I see that my journey is more than spitting these verses
It ain't working, God why did you hire me?
Sometimes I wish that you would fire me
But I'm thankful for the job that's irony
I know you got your eyes on the sparrow
If I end up with a job at White Castle please keep an eye on me

I might not make it man

My life goes left, then right
Then day, then night
Then it all starts all over, it starts all over again
Sometimes
Sometimes I wanna walk away
Sometimes I wanna walk away from it all

[Excerpt from Network]