Sometimes i feel like i have no friends

How many friends do you have?
Do you ever use the term 'best friend’?
How do you know if someone is your best friend?
Or is it more of an innate feeling than a culmination of repeated actions?
Sometimes I feel like I have no friends, sometimes I feel like I have too many
I prefer the latter
When I am having a particularly hard time it is nice to have multiple options
People to use as sounding boards
Use?
Am I just using people?
What do I bring into thеir lives?
I talk about myself too much, am often nеgative
And sometimes, only sometimes, I am kind
What would happen if everyone just turned their back on me one day?
Am I ready for that?
Do you ever just sit and think about how much your body hurts?
Every ache a possible underlying illness, what if one day it comes true?
What if it’s terminal?
Who is going to be there for you?
Are you enough, for yourself?
Are you going to be able to hold your own hand through that experience until the very end?

I need you more than you need me, I can learn to live with it
Can i live with it?
Can i live with it?
I need you more than you need me
Do you need me
At all?