Something’s Missing

I'm still kicking among the living
Is this a gift or a sickness
Gracious, angry, I can see through the hidden
I'm not doing this
I don't know why I can't seem to acquire a taste, it still burns my eyes
Nothing goes as planned
What would make someone ever wanna go back?

A part of me wants to accept the fact that every being that breathes polluted breaths
Deserves a clean spot in Heaven next to God, himself
But then a different part of me, the part that wants to start a cult, my own following
Feels like revolting against those who still hold us down
If the carnal, territorial, ape-like instincts unfortunately chances
Stem results too strong to become extinct from man
Impulse will vary buried in the very deepest level of the tissue
Yet some attribute this condition to variables so small and simple
It's gonna take a miracle and a sterile pair of scalpels
To break the external shell and tear a hole into the overall assumption
Whoever said I'd let this go
A slave inseparable to rebellion
One day it will know what it wants to be when it grows into a conscience
I don't have close to what it takes driving toward the unattainable
To make me feel like I'm enough to make a difference in this place I call home
It looks like I'm gonna have a couple tough decisions to make
Without keeping to myself and not sharing what I hate
I'm not sure if I was built, meant to feel this sense of guilt
That sits impatiently between my nerve endings when I flirt with doubt
After this relationship is necessary for some odd reason beyond a shadow of the filter that creates my own twisted point of reference
Each diluted experience dances to illusion and lucid areas I can't wait until intention show both sides of their faces again
I've learned predicting circumstances and picking weather over light that won't
Shine through my window until the last night of my life

If I could trade places
I'm almost positive I wouldn't
My projection of the best is always less when under the influence
Here lies the honest reason for self-conscious abuse
It's all less than it seems, never as good as it looks
How do I really act when no one else is looking
Bend the rules of hide-and-seek, we can call it peek-a-booing
I'd like to reach the point of my point of view and then slip
And then use it as a crutch once the puncture wound is healed again
Sometimes you gotta let the bugs crawl all over you
They love the precious blood, like I love the stingers, left to dry
Karma's name is used only when I feel guilty
So I clean myself dirty, just in the nick of time
Have you ever woke up not knowing where you are?
Not knowing who you are?
Just knowing that you're far away from home
Kill or be killed, closed fist and open mind
But a reason to keep going, like a self to hold responsible
No map or compass, just a message in the stars
Touring an island that's been man-handled and built
Count on me like the tiles on a the ceiling in denial
Reaching up before the climax when the sky falls through the roof
Thank you for the light
Do I shine just like you wish?
Your command still runs my life
So I assume normal position
I've lost every right connection between everything that seemed right
So I guess you've earned the right to invade all my favorite spaces
I try not to step on your toes when dancing off beat
I got one foot in
You got one foot out
Where do I draw the line between a miracle or chance
I put my life in your hands
I put my life in your hands
Nothing completes me

Something's missing
My guess is as good as yours
I feel outta place
Crossfire in a war
The world revolves around me
Only I can stop its spinning
Only I can wear my welcome just enough for some to miss me
Just enough there's something missing

Something's missing
Something's missing

Something's missing
My guess is as good as yours
I feel outta place
Crossfire in a war
The world revolves around me