Something Rotten (Cut song) — We Know How This Ends

[Verse 1]
[PORTIA]
We're like Romeo and Juliet
Who solemnly vowed
To love each other truly, yet it wasn't allowed!
So they ran away together
Didn't care about the consequences
So deep in dreams they carried

[NIGEL]
And so deep in desire!

[PORTIA]
So secretly they married

[NIGEL]
With the help of a friar!

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
And they pledged their hearts forever
Like a fairytale
A prince and princess!
They had love, love, love, love
Beautiful passionate love!

[PORTIA]
Mixing it with alchemy

[NIGEL]
Climbing up the balcony

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
That kinda love!
Love, love, love, love, pure as the heavens above
When the love is true
It seizes the the day
Oh, it finds a way
And in the end

[Refrain]
[NIGEL (spoken)]
Oh no

[PORTIA (spoken)]
What?

[NIGEL]
In the end, there's a big misunderstanding

[PORTIA]
And Romeo is left to think that Juliet has died!

[NIGEL]
There's a fight

[PORTIA]
And there's a murder

[NIGEL]
And he drinks a deadly poison!

[PORTIA]
And she sees him dead and stabs herself

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
It's double suicide!

[Chorus]
[PORTIA]
Oh no!

[NIGEL]
Oh no!

[PORTIA]
Oh crap!

[NIGEL]
Oh crap!

[NIGEL]
Oh god!

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
Oh god!, Oh god!, Oh god!

[Verse 2]
[PORTIA]
I think we're more like Hero and Leander;
Who were head over boots!

[NIGEL]
No act was ever grander than their passion pursuits

[PORTIA]
So far from one another...

[NIGEL]
The distance only made their hearts grow fonder!

[PORTIA]
Yeah... so every night Leander swam the dangerous seas

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
Just to be with Hero for an hour or three!
And waiting in her tower
She would hang a light to guide him to her
They had love, love, love love
Magical, and mythical love!

[PORTIA]
Hiding any obstacles

[NIGEL]
Even when it's nautical!

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
That kinda love!
Love, love, love, love
The stuff that legends are made of!

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
And when the love is true, it seizes the day!
Oh, it finds a way

[NIGEL]
But in the end–

[Refrain]
[PORTIA (spoken)]
Oh no...

[NIGEL (spoken)]
What?

[Verse 3]
[PORTIA]
In the end, there was a stormy winters night
And then the breeze blew out the light
Leander drifted in distress!

[NIGEL]
Leander drowned!

[PORTIA]
Hero saw it!

[NIGEL]
And she couldn't live without him–

[PORTIA]
So she threw herself out of the tower–

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
Plunging to her death!

[Chorus]
[PORTIA]
Oh no!

[NIGEL]
Oh no!

[PORTIA]
Oh crap!

[NIGEL]
Oh hell!

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
Oh god!, oh god!, oh god!

[Verse 4]
[NIGEL]
Maybe we're like Samson and Delilah!?

[PORTIA]
Ooh! Yes!
No, wait, that ended in destruction!

[NIGEL]
Shoot!...
Antony and Cleopatra?

[PORTIA]
Mm...lots of murder
And political seduction...

[NIGEL (spoken)]
Oh...

[PORTIA]
It's all of them!

[PORTIA]
Pyramus and Thisbe

[NIGEL]
Tristan and Iseult

[PORTIA]
Lancelot and Guinevere!

[NIGEL]
Every story told seems to have a fatal ending!

[PORTIA]
A doom that's impending!

[NIGEL]
How can we pretend, dear?

[PORTIA]
I think I see a trend here...

[NIGEL]
Oh, the fate of star-crossed lovers...is tragic and cruel

[PORTIA]
And just like all the others
We would be fortune's fool

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
And we're just not foolish enough
To suffer the consequences...
So our love, love, love, love
The tale of our ill-fated love–

[NIGEL]
Is over before it begins...

[NIGEL & PORTIA]
Because we both know this ends