Solid Snake Cake

“Colonel, we’ve got a situation. There’s a crazed fanboy who keeps trying to eat my ass”

Wagon ride, Wagon wagon ride, Wagon ride, Colonel... let your Wagon ride

Wassup why you keep sneaking around?
I got a bunch of frosting for that cake that’s so round
I wanna put it on display in a beautiful array
Never minimize, Gluteus Maximize
Dick hard as stone. you’re gonna need a bulldozer
Colonel trying to play dumb, but now I’m coming over
Can you do me a solid and lemme have a bite
Cause imma do that, Solid, those bumps in the night

Tell me, how’s the weather over there?
Pants so tight, they hugging downtown
Look at all the padding that you wear
Call me Ronald ‘cause I’m down to clown
What a shame that everytime you walk around
You keep alerting all the guards when your butt hit the ground
When it come to BANG BANG, I’m the leader
Rim you so good that you’ll call me Snake Eater

Wagon ride, Wagon wagon ride, Wagon ride, Colonel... let your Wagon ride

It’s a universal truth around the world
Everybody wants to see some peach in smash
Now I’ll admit captain falcon got a donk
But the real MVP is that ass by a flash

Ya’ll can’t deny what I’m saying
HOO BOY, they knew what they was doing
Don’t ask me why I wrote this song
But you can’t tell me that I’m wrong

Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Come here I want that Solid Cake Cake Cake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Come here I want that Solid Cake Cake Cake

We interrupt this rap to give you a special news bulletin
The fanboy has been taken in
On accounts of obscenities, vulgarities, and trying to write a verse about his “tig ole bitties”
In response to the charges, the fanboy had this to declare
“Eh, that’s fair”
That’s all for today’s Solid Cake Feed. This has been your anchor, Ein Olbid

Colonel’s got your number
Can I have that number
Colonel please, that number
Ring ring it’s ya boy
Colonel’s got your number
Can I have that number
Colonel please, that number
Ring ring it’s ya boy
Wagon ride, Wagon wagon ride, Wagon ride, Colonel... let your Wagon ride

It’s a universal truth around the world
Everybody wants to see some peach in smash
Now I’ll admit captain falcon got a donk
But the real MVP is that ass by a flash

Ya’ll really can’t deny what I’m saying
HOO LAWDY, they knew what they was doing
Please don’t ask me why I wrote this song
‘Cause you can’t tell me that I’m wrong

Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Come here I want that Solid Cake Cake Cake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Yo Solid Snake Snake Snake Snake
Come here I want that Solid Cake Cake Cake

Sorry that I wrote this
This just had to exist
Before you report this, just lemme finish
Sorry that I wrote this
This just had to exist
I just granted the internet’s collective wish