So Pissed Off with Love

VICTORIA: I thought that love would be like a rainbow
In a big, blue sky
I thought it was more magic than magic
I thought that love could even make you fly

DENNIS LAWSON: I thought that love was birthdays and Christmas
Rolled into one
Thought that love would warm you like sunlight
When the snowstorms and the wintry skies have gone

BOTH: That is, till I teamed up with you
That was a really dumb thing to do
I can hardly believe we were both that naive
To think that that garbage was true

We seemed to fit like hand in glove
So tender, so gentle
We must've been mental
Now we're both pissed off with love

VICTORIA: I wanted it to be like the movies
Two big, big names
But what started out as Bogart and Bergman
Ended up as Tony Hancock and Sid James

DENNIS: You know I thought that making love would be easy [So easy]
So swift, so slick
I sweated blood for 45 minutes
You just lay there like I'd stunned you with a brick

BOTH: You know, when I teamed up with you
God kicked a hole in our canoe
The moment we met, I felt strangely upset
And the feeling just grew and grew

You never were my turtle dove
Could not thrill me or jar me
You just drove me barmy
Now we're both pissed off with love

One by one, the loving words have gone
I'll go my way [You go your way]
We don't need a ref, you can take the Kenwood Chef
Just get your pimply bottom through that doorway

You know, since I teamed up with you
There's so much I've wanted to do
Shove an old garden hose up one side of your nose
And maybe a deckchair too

Because you're not sent from heaven above
And if that doesn't faze ya
I'll try euthanasia
'Cause I'm so pissed off with love

So pissed off with love [Ooh-ooh]
So pissed off with love [Ooh-ooh]
So pissed off with love