[Intro]
And so I say goodbye
[Verse]
When the needle leaves my vein
That’s why my heart hurts
My life’s wrapped around the block
Like a starburst
I can’t seem to find love
Hate is all my heart harbors
I embark through the dark
Till the day of my departure
I love drugs but wonder what’s love
Haunted by tough love and some harsh words
Grew up rough and rugged
Off free lunch that the park serve
Yo tell me can I still die a legend
Underestimated
I waited longer than my momma did for section 8, hey
Hip hop is really dead
Or someone excavates it
My homies bodies desecrated
Mommas devastated
The shit is reciprocated to commemorate em
So I don’t gotta ask god
How come I never made it
And I am not a rapper
These are facts
So keep me separated
I’m a product of what stolen life could generated
I come from where it’s dissilis
So hope is dissipated
I was manipulated by the sound of pistol cadence
Close my eyes and see the eyes of those obliterated
Souls long forgotten as our neighborhood proliferated
What was once a kind heart been eviscerated
What wasn’t liquidated be refrigerated
Can’t see clear through the tears
Cause my world so fucking pixelated
I can’t articulate the fact I can’t get situated
I wrote this shit so faded
My mission statement
Before my life is taken
Cause my deaths anticipated
Dawg I been waiting
Cause it’s a cold game
And I don’t need
Bullets have no name
Man you out like a choke chain
Those wore bling
In this war paint
Where saints meet their doom
Ain’t no room for the ordained
But I still pray
More rain leaves more drained
I suffer softly
Blood shed mixed with growing pains
Blood stains on my skin like some rogain
Hard in my heart just like arm n hammer cocaine
I’ll probably never change
Not for fame or the dope game
And in my mind I’m the king
Of this hill, no propane
In my heart I’m a peasant
Wish a legend I will perish
Blessings no longer present
So my pain just has no merit
Devil mocks me like a parrot
I see familiar spirits
Memories I dream to cherish
Wear it through my appearance
Cause shots of broken dreams
My homes filled with broken things
I wonder hopelessly
If I’m immune to dopamine
I know what hopeless means
Wear the crown of broken kings
Hope it seeps, my heart gon freeze
I beg for death to notice me
I ain’t gon bitch
I just switch to chase some blue faces
And now I’m on the run for a few cases
Wish the block was adjacent to my hiding places
Police trying to play me
So they raid me cause they’re hiding aces
Just like hard times I’m a last long
In case I don’t tho I’m a spit this like my last song
And my son probably wondering why their dads gone
What would I say if I could speak before I passed on
I know I let you down son
Let me explain
Something like a heart attack
Here comes my chest pain
Xavier James I miss the days of being your baseball coach
Nowadays I hit n run the way the baseball goes
Life stole my smile
It’s like my face all froze
And I can’t seem to stay clean
Just like your baseball clothes
I fear one day you’ll see your father in another man
If you call me by my name instead of dad
I would understand
Caught up in the streets
And I let you down
Now I drink my memories
And the streets just let me drown
So now I say goodbye
Gang unit played me
My poor baby’s gotta suffer
Fuck I hope they never hate me
So I Say Goodbye was written by Shady Boy (El Monte).
So I Say Goodbye was produced by Alex Ibarra (A.i).
Shady Boy (El Monte) released So I Say Goodbye on Fri Aug 23 2019.